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Male and female nouns

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by potato76, Aug 3, 2002.

  1. potato76

    potato76 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2002
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    Location:
    phoenix, AZ
    From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which
    it
    was postulated that
    English should have male and female nouns, and
    readers
    were asked to assign a
    gender to a noun of their choice and explain their
    reason.

    The best submissions:
    ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in,
    but
    you can always see
    right through them.
    SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it
    appears
    useful for a wide
    variety of work, it spends most of its time just
    opening
    bottles.
    KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the
    bathroom
    in pairs.
    SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with
    its
    tongue hanging out.
    COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a

    while to warm up..... it is
    an effective reproductive device when the right
    buttons
    are pushed and because
    it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are
    pushed.
    TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over
    inflated.
    HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go
    anywhere
    you have to light a fire under it... and, of course,

    there's the hot air part.
    SPONGES - female, because they are soft and
    squeezable
    and retain water.
    WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit
    on.
    SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to

    pick people up.
    HOURGLASS - female, because over time the weight
    shifts
    to the bottom.
    HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over
    the
    last 5,000 years, but
    it's handy to have around.
    REMOTE CONTROL - female... You thought I'd say male.
    But
    consider this:
    it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
    while he doesn't always know
    the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
     

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