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Man and Woman

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by firefighter184, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    The Barrio
    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     
  2. Ruthven13

    Ruthven13 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


    [/ QUOTE ]
    I got slapped for this one /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. grundy99

    grundy99 1/2 ton status

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    Why do women get married in white?

    To match the other kitchen appliances
     
  4. dremu

    dremu Officious Thread Derailer Premium Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Why do women get married in white?

    To match the other kitchen appliances

    [/ QUOTE ]

    What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

    Slap the beyotch. /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    -- A
     
  5. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gifLOL /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif i can't wait to show the wife. /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    REPOST!

    I only say that 'cause I posted this some time ago, and I got "repost"ed too...
    Still funny stuff! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  7. Poohbair

    Poohbair 1/2 ton status

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    Why did the woman cross the road?

    Doesn't matter, what is she doing out of the kitchen and where did the bitch get money for shoes?
     
  8. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    Location:
    C-eh-N-eh-D-eh
    bwbwwaahahahahahqah


    what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    nothen you havent told her twice.

    what do all battered woman have in common?

    THEY DON"T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP!!!


    what is the first thing a woman dose after leaving the batered woman shelter?

    the dishes, if she knows whats good for her!!!!



    i told those to my father in law the first time i meat him!1!!
    then he retold the on my wedding day!!! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  9. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    Why don't women need drivers licenses??

    There's no roads between the bedroom and the kitchen,,, /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  10. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Right on!!! I can already picture how Kim's eyes are gonna roll when I tell her some of these.





















    The bitch better laugh if she knows what's good for her!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  11. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

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