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Marines or Former Marines read this........

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 79Stomper, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. 79Stomper

    79Stomper 1/2 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2004
    Posts:
    4,225
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    Location:
    Forest, VA
    12 Step program for recovering Marines.
    Marines Anonymous
    1. I am a Marine, I have a problem. This is the first step to recovery...
    2. Speech:
    -Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400 it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).
    -Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work out, get used to it.
    -"F *ck" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".
    -Grunting is not talking.
    -It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out"
    -People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you tell them you are coming from Camp Lejeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC

    3. Style:
    -Do not put creases in your jeans.
    -Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
    -A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
    -A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
    -So does a low reg, but not as bad.
    -A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.
    -you do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.
    4. Women:
    -Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.

    -Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.
    -Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make
    "financial sense", it makes you a retard.
    5. Personal accomplishments:
    -In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.
    -Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
    -How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
    -The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.
    6. Drinking:
    -In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"
    -That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a
    conversation starter.
    -That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka iv's will also not be a good conversation starter

    6. Bodily functions:
    -Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be
    viewed as "unprofessional".
    -The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

    -You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is
    -VD will also not be funny
    7. The human body:
    -Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.
    8. Spending habits:
    -One day, you will have to pay bills
    -Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.
    -Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
    -One day you will need health insurance
    9. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU):
    -Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.
    10. Real jobs:
    -They really can fire you.
    -On the flip side you really can quit.
    -Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember
    they really can quit too.
    -Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
    -Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1800
    11. The Law:
    -Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.
    -Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

    -Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to
    help you get the job
    -Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not
    yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.
    12. General knowledge:
    -You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.
    -Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.
    -They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are, be polite.
    -Read the contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.

    Semper Fi
     
  2. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Posts:
    4,522
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    Location:
    OKC, Oklahoma
    One point I must disagree with [ QUOTE ]
    That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a
    conversation starter.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Yes it is /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    Semper Fi,
    John
     
  3. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

    Joined:
    May 30, 2001
    Posts:
    17,669
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    0
    Location:
    IL, USA
    I'm still trying to figure out what a former marine is. /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  4. semper-k-five

    semper-k-five 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2004
    Posts:
    326
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    Location:
    Tulsa, OK
    I didn't piss in no locker, but i pissed in my ex-girls roomates shoe once!!!! she didn't care for that much!!

    True, I also believe the "Once a Marine, Always a Marine" statement. But to give credit where credit is due to the retired Veterans, I don't mind refering to myself as a Former Marine!
     
  5. sapper

    sapper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2001
    Posts:
    3,052
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    0
    Location:
    NoVa
    [ QUOTE ]
    -Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make
    "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

    [/ QUOTE ]

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  6. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    A former Marine is a Marine no longer in the service. There is no such thing as an ex-Marine, hence the saying "once a Marine, always a Marine."

    Semper Fidelis,
    John
     
  7. semper-k-five

    semper-k-five 1/2 ton status

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    kinda true!!! an ex-marine, like an ex-president or ex-cop is any idividual who was terminated from their service...Any Marine not Honorably Discharched is refered to as an ex-marine...there may be a little leeway for someone dischared under honorable conditions...but i don't know!
    B/C or Dishonorable is an ex-Marine
     
  8. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    [ QUOTE ]
    A former Marine is a Marine no longer in the service. There is no such thing as an ex-Marine, hence the saying "once a Marine, always a Marine."

    Semper Fidelis,
    John

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I've been told there are only marines, and people who want to be marines, no former, ex, or otherwise marines. Just marines, and those of us who wish we were marines. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. 79Stomper

    79Stomper 1/2 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Forest, VA
    [ QUOTE ]
    I've been told there are only Marines, and people who want to be Marines, no former, ex, or otherwise Marines. Just Marines, and those of us who wish we were Marines. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Fixed it for you, By a Staff Sergeant of Marines

    Marine is a title, hence always capitalized. Lets not get off of the Subject either. This is a "Joke" for those currently serving or have served in our beloved Corps.
     
  10. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  11. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    I think I'm gonna like this.... /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif
     
  12. mofugly13

    mofugly13 1 ton bucket of rust Premium Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    ....and those of us who wish we were marines.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I knew it! Finally I meet an Army dog who can admit he wished he was a leatherneck! When I was in El Paso, on Fort Bliss (what an oxymoron that one is...) I was with a detatchment of about 100 Marines, on a base with 1000's of Army. I cant tell you how many I ran into in bars who would claim they were former Marines, then they got out, and when they decided to get back in the Marines weren't accepting, so they got into the Army instead. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif Of course, after a few Marines get good and drunk, and are surrounded by a bunch of Army 'wads, the Marine Corps Hymn must be sung at the top of the lungs. None of these so-called "I was a Marine, but now I'm in the Army" types could get past the second line. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif Ahhh, the memories....
    Semper Fi

    This is not meant to be an Army-bashing post, I fully respect everyone who has the guts to Sign the Muthafukkin' Contract, whichever service they choose. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  13. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    Actually it doesn't really much matter to me. I don't really wish I was a Marine, but from what I understand, that's the way Marines look at it. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    I can see a lot of good points to it, but doing a 30 year career and retiring as an E6 with a good conduct ribbon and maybe a Navy achievement medal seems kinda crappy to me.

    Not to bash Marines and all, but y'all really get screwed on your awards, and y'all really have to earn your promotions. I've met some GREAT marines that were 15+ year E5s and I just couldn't believe it after talking to them for a few minutes.
     
  14. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    [ QUOTE ]
    When I was in El Paso, on Fort Bliss (what an oxymoron that one is...)

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Definitely with ya 100% on that one.

    Been there twice............never again I swear!!

    Not a skinny little white chick ANYWHERE in that city that isn't a stripper!
     
  15. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    79Stomper - TOO FAWKIN FUNNY!! I think it took me about 10 minutes to stop laughing over these things, because they're ALL true! Of course, after reading gems like
    [ QUOTE ]
    The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled

    [/ QUOTE ]
    or
    [ QUOTE ]
    Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true

    [/ QUOTE ]
    I have to wonder why we Marines find these things as entertaining as we do...



    84 Chevy K10 - I'm not sure where you got your info, but there are NO 30-year E-6's (Staff Sergeant), or 15+ year E-5's (Sergeant) in the Marine Corps, active or Reserve. The service limit is 13 years for Sergeants, and IIRC the service limit is 20 years for Staff Sergeants. If you haven't picked up the next rank by then, out you go. This has been policy for quite a few years now (since '98 or so), so anyone who may have been "grandfathered" or waivered is long-gone by now.
    [ QUOTE ]
    Not to bash Marines and all, but y'all really get screwed on your awards, and y'all really have to earn your promotions.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    We prefer it that way. When we see squids that have a NMCAM (Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal) with more stars than a General wears, for things like wiping their ass successfully on 3 consecutive occasions, or for answering the phone and not offending anyone for a week while their chief is on leave, we learn pretty quickly to value our awards. As for promotions: If you didn't earn it, you don't deserve it. IMO, promotions in all branches of service, enlisted AND officer, should be based on leadership ability and occupation knowledge (in that order); anything else cheapens the rank and causes problems.
     
  16. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.

    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     

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