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Marriage, math & statistics, and other "info"...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jarheadk5, Aug 6, 2004.

  1. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Marriage, math & statistics, and other \"info\"...

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
     
  2. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Re: Marriage, math & statistics, and other \"info\"...

    [ QUOTE ]
    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    ROTFLMAO!!!! I gotta remember that one! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    Rene
     
  3. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    Re: Marriage, math & statistics, and other \"info\"...

    This ones funny!: [ QUOTE ]
    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Marriage, math & statistics, and other \"info\"...

    When it's true, it's not that funny.
    Trust me, you'll know this pain someday... /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif

    /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
     
  5. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    Re: Marriage, math & statistics, and other \"info\"...

    ah, my future /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     

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