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Married guys?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by hi pinion, Feb 22, 2005.

  1. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    Ok, ,,ive been married for a while now, but, our orginzation is just screwy....

    #1. Who is responsible for what in you marrage? Who does the laundry, who does the dishes, and who takes out the trash? ( i am currently taking out the trash).

    #2. If a man goes to work, everyday , is the only one in the household who works,,, and the wife takes care of the children,,, should it still be 50/50 on the house dutys????

    #3. How did you married couples come to a conclusion of who does what, etc?


    Im sure these are some age old questions, just trying to get more arganized.:grin:

    Single people need not apply.
     
  2. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    i work, she stays home, now that we have a son.

    we both cook (i like to)

    she cleans and dose the dishes the most, but i also help a lot,

    she does all the landry because, uh i dont know she likes to do it????
     
  3. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    At my house my wife does the laundry and the dishes, I do the cooking and all of the yardwork. Other household chores are split about 80/20, all I really do is vaccuum now and then. Basically I go outside and do the yards while she cleans house, then when I'm done I come in and help her finish.

    If only one person works, then the person staying home does the housework, that is their job IMHO. My wife is going to probably start staying home full time in a couple of years, she know that if she does that then I expect the house to be clean and tidy and dinner to be on the table when I get home. She understands that that is her job if she isn't going to work every day.

    We just kind of fell into our roles, for the most part we fill our historically gender-defined roles, with the exception of cooking. I enjoy cooking and hate doing dishes, she hates cooking and doesn't mind doing dishes, so it just made sense to do it this way.

    From one man to another, here is the ancient, tired and true trick to getting out of stuff you don't want to do -

    Step 1 - happily agree to do whatever task it is
    Step 2 - do it very very poorly. If it's washing dishes, break at least a few every week. Get water on the floor and don't rinse out the dishrag. Advanced techniques include putting food down the drain and "forgetting" to run the disposal so the drain reaks like a$$ in the morning. If it's doing laundry, put the whites in the washer then throw in one red sock or sweater. Make sure that you don't put your favorite t-shirt in though, although if you do it will make it look that much more like an accident. Wash all of her dry-clean only clothes in the washer and dry them in the dryer. Never read the care instruction tags, sort only by color. Advanced techniques include washing her wool sweater in hot water so it comes out barbie-doll sized. Also, always ALWAYS forget to put in the cling-free dryer sheet so everything is always super staticy. When she asks why you can't remember simpe things like this, pretend to be hurt and tell her that you're trying your best and that she shouldn't be so mean to you.
    Step 3 - She will quickly get fed up and decide it's easier to just do it herself.

    I probably shouldn't post this in public...:blush:
     
  4. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Since my wife stays at home with the kids she takes care of the house cleaning/dishes/laundry (I tote half of it up and down the stairs), during the week she cooks since I'm usualy at work. We usualy both do the grocery shopping and other shopping.

    On weekends I might cook dinner or take them out to eat. We split the yard work 50/50 and I wash the cars and do the furniture building / remodeling (she paints).

    She does the bills but wants me to take that over soon.

    I'm verry lucky that She carries more than her fair share (she even home schools 1 kid) but that was our agreement when we decided she'd stay home.

    And she handels feeding and cleaning the animals.

    She also gets to take the trips in the summer to visit her relatives while I stay at home and handle her herd (shes usualy gone 2-4 weeks) and she takes the kids to Kings Dominion on Wednesday and sets up camp a few times a year and I go down on Friday and help her break camp on Sunday.

    Oh and I take out the trash as long as it makes it to the front stoop. :grin:
     
  5. BLZN4FN

    BLZN4FN 1/2 ton status

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    I do most of the cooking. I do all the yard work. Most of the chores we just kinda jump in as needed to get the job done. I like to vacum cause it leaves cool designs on the carpet. Wife mops and waxes the hard wood floors she says I do a half ass job so I let her. I clean my bathroom and she does her own. As for the rest its hard to say we dont have any kids. And are both hardly ever home but if were not home much how the hell does the house get so dirty????????
     
  6. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    These are my personal opinions, I'm sure we each have a different take on it. This is a huge topic - you really can't condense it into one simple explanation. I'll just toss in a few and hopefully so will everyone else. Then you can read through them all and decide for yourself.

    Communication: No.1 on my list. If you can't talk to each other openly your doomed. It takes a while to get to the point of open dialouge without the need for your defenses but you must keep working on it until you do.

    Know Thyself. Your perceptions, reactions, feelings, et. It all starts inside you and moves out from there, like ripples on a pond. Once you understand that you can take control of yourself instead of responding in anger and frustration. Other people don't make you angry, you make yourself angry.

    Share The Burden: Everything is a 50/50 split unless one of us has a particular talent or does extra to be nice. It should never be demanded, only given freely. Cooperate - If there is a point of contention you have to be willing to sit down, grit your teeth and work through it.

    My wife and I have been together over 20 years and none of the first 15 were easy. Lot of that has to do with maturity which escaped me until my late 20's. To tell the truth I'm amazed we made it.

    Huh, what's that?.................Oh Gerri says "ya Right".

    Long term relationships take a great deal of work. You really have to love someone and work at improving yourself and your bond to make it last. Not many people are willing to put that much effort into it.

    Good Luck HP
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2005
  7. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    Word of advise "don't be to good at something you don't want to do" She does bills cooking cleanig laundry and 1/3 animals but needs to be more since she wanted them. I do yard work most of the trash take out and 2/3 animals because they are out side.I use to cook till i got married but gave it up. When we taught at home i did most of it.

    It really depends on what works for you and how things are for you. I cannot expect dinner on table because not knowing what time I get off. It depends on what breaks at work. Ma and Pa's roles all changed when he retired from the army. He rarely did house things inside till then, now he is a house husband. Friends at work chores more or less depend on how much she makes compared to them. When she looks great and makes between 50 and 100 or more a year they tend to do more around the house. Other friends that just have a house wife do alot less. But it is really what works for you.
     
  8. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    we have teenagers. they do the kitchen, take out the trash, their own laundry. my wife and I both work. If I get home early, then I will cook dinner, and on weekends I will cook. I usually vaccuum the living room and the family room on the weekends. I do my own laundry cause I don't like Downy, and my stuff can be pretty grubby. the kids keep the upstairs clean cause its their space. If it requires a hammer or any other tool, I do it. I am also responsible for maint. on the vehicles. BTW, this is wife #4 for me, its taken me a while to learn that just earning a paycheck is not enough anymore to today's women. Good luck sorting things out, just be flexible.
     
  9. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    When she went to work and before we had this house built on 5 acres, I stayed home and did everything, cooked, cleaned, laundry, that sorta thing...Now that she can work from home she does it all and I just work around the property, build fences, take care of the animals, clear brush, landscape,take Jr. back and forth to scool, If I had a job ,I'd never get anything done I'm busier now than I ever have been....:crazy:
     
  10. kgblazerfive

    kgblazerfive keymaster Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Everything that the Cricket said and

    1. The kids are more work then work
    2. Chores should be 50/50 or whatever you like best
    3. Have more kids so when they grow up they get to learn how to do the work.

    I do my own wash and some of the house work and I'm the rule enforcer good cop bad cop thing. I'm in charge of fixing and she is in charge of making it pretty, which I pay for.
     
  11. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    I get to do what I want a lot , she lets me on purpose , makes me do more around the house than I'd like to . Some weird woman physcology :whistle:

    I do dishes ocassionally , laundry often , and I have to do the trash .

    I also have pet duty , feed and water , and pick up the little packages .

    Just bring roses home once in a while , and it all works out .

    My wife lets me keep trucks and do a lot of playing ...........until the kids start coming :D
     
  12. stallion85

    stallion85 1/2 ton status

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    My wife (of 4 years) hasn't had a job in three years, a paying one that is. We have 2 children, 3 yr old boy and 1 yr old girl. She is busy all day long with the two of them and I have it pretty good at work when I am in the states. She does all of the house work, pays the bills (her choice), laundry, and cooks lunch and dinner (I make breakfast on the weekends since I enjoy making my kids pancakes and such). Every day when I come home the house is clean and all the beds are made which is nice. I play with my kids and do some odd chores around the house while she makes dinner. After dinner while she does dishes and I give the kids there baths. After that, we both just watch tv and keep the kids busy till bedtime. When I am deployed she has to do everything herself which is very hard on her.


    I used to have the mentality and sometimes still do that it is her job to do all of these things since she does not earn a paycheck. This is where I am wrong and am starting to finally realize it. She works harder than me:confused:

    I do all the outside chores such as cutting the grass, sweeping the driveway/garage, take out the trash, help with the grocery shopping, and fix the vehicles. Sometimes I will help her with house work. When she was pregnant with both kids I would clean the bathroom for her so she didn't have to inhale all the chemicals and such. I vacuum occasionally since for some odd reason I kind of like it.

    Boy, take a man away from his family for a few months and he can't shut up:grin:

    Hope this helps some of you feel normal. A lot of my friends give me a rash of crap and say I am whooped. Well ya, I guess I am, if you call spending time with your family being whooped. Just because I don't go out and drink all night long with them. It's just not something I want to do as a Father and Husband. To end on a good not, she is very supportive of my 4 wheeling hobby and enjoys going with me. So all is good on the home front:)
     
  13. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    I use illegal aliens for My house and yard work and an English nanny to raise the kid:whistle: :pimp1:
     
  14. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    I work, wife does not, we have a one year old.

    #1: We both cook (she does more), she does the laundry, cleans (I vacuum a couple times a week), and mows the lawn, I take car of trash.

    #2 I think you kind of have to play that by ear, I work from basically 8-5 M-F. When I get home I generally feed the kid and bathe her and put her to bed, the wife cooks and then cleans the kitchen. On the weekends it is basically 50/50 as far as general stuff but I always have a list from her of projects or repairs to do.

    #3 That's the tough one, I basically do the same stuff as when she worked full time and we both realized that was necessary with the kiddo. I guess it would be hard to have to hash that out, if my wife was lazy we'd have a serious problem.
     
  15. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    Well Jenn generally takes care of the money issues and as far as normal everyday chores it's generally catch as catch can round here. Like as soon as I get done typin here I'm gonna go swap over laundry but she did the last load so......


    She rearranges all the time and I handle the tools for the most part although she's startin to invade the hallowed garage more and more. :surepal:
     
  16. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    i do the garbage and wash the big pots/pans... wife does the rest of the dishes and all the laundry. We share vacuuming duties. I wash cars (duh!).

    **** no.

    if it grosses the wife out, the guy does it. If it doesn't, she does it. lol, atleast thats how we figured it out. :grin:

    j
     
  17. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    I work, she does everything else. She works part-time, but I really have no responsiblities as far as the house goes. I'm Archie, she's Edith.
     
  18. mr_clean

    mr_clean 1/2 ton status

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    My wife and I have been married for 10 years now. As far as work, she and I have pretty much always worked (at least I have... :D )


    With roles, we just play it by ear. For the most part if she is home all day, the dishes are done and laundry is mostly done. On the weekends, I do the dishes and occasionally laundry. My wife has worked in the restraunt industry since she was 15 so I do about 95% of the cooking because she can't stand it. That works fine for me because I love to cook anyway. Well mostly BBQ'ing but still....

    Honestly, I can't say we have ever divided up the housework into who is responsible for what... I will say that yardwork is all my responsibility, which would be why my K5 is still stripped in my garage... (but by this summer it'll be done!!!)
     
  19. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    What have you been smokin'? :screwy: And how long did you say you've been married? :haha:
     
  20. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    **PLUMBING THE WORLD**
    Ive been with her for 6 yrs,,,,, whell, cool, i just wanted to get into all of your personal lives, and see what everyone else is getting away with,,, *ahem* ,,,im still working on changing some things in the meantime.......Oh ,,,crap,,,I GOTTA GO:grin:
     

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