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Married

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."


    Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.


    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know... they have frozen glasses... "


    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.


    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"


    "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.


    "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?...

    "LISTEN UP DICKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING BAR! THAT **** IS OVER...GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"


    ...and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?
     
  2. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Funnnnnnnnnnnnnny!!!:saweet: :haha:
     
  3. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Gets me beer, makes hors d'oeuvres ..........



    ....... I'd marry her!

    :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:
     
  4. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    and how.:laugh: :laugh:
     
  5. AkMudr

    AkMudr 1/2 ton status

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    Why does that feel all too familiar? :D
     
  6. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    Damn it Z3PR, now I have a nasty craving for chicken wings. Thanks, I'm not gonna sleep tonight. :mad:



    :rotfl:
     
  7. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    "But honey, at the bar there's this hot waitress, and while I drink my beer and eat my hot wings she gets down on her knees under the table and...































    massages my feet...:smirk:

    You thought that I was going to say something else, right?:confused:
     
  8. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    REPOST!

    Posted by me, coincidentally enough...
    Still funny though.
     

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