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Maybe some clarification is in order.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by newyorkin, Dec 15, 2005.

  1. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    There seems to be a lot of speculation, accusation, and requests for someone to "Man up", so I'll go ahead and do so.

    I was the friend Paul was in danger of losing. It had nothing to do with his mod status, and I placed no demands or ultimatums on him, nor said anything remotely like "if that's how you feel, then go screw yourself". We were having a conversation about the thread, things escalated in tone, and we said things to each other without taking time to think about how it would hit the other. I'm man enough to admit I started it by making a sarcastic suggestion, when I should have just calmly spoke my mind. This became something where tone meant a lot.
    Both of us spent yesterday not knowing if the next time we talked it would be screaming curses at each other or sounding like a married couple making up, which is why (I'm guessing) he said "I'm on the verge of losing a good friend". That was before we talked last night and clarified to each other what was going on in our heads.

    I did not PM him to complain, I was not being whiny or a p***y. I am not in hiding and I'm not running away.

    Paul is my friend, and as such I have a lot of trust in his opinion. When I find my temperature rising over a thread in the lounge, occasionally I'll write a reply post and PM it to him for his take on it before I post it. I don't do that because he's a mod, and I sometimes do it with other friends that are not mods. Other times I just vent or ask for his opinion, and he'll tell me "Chill out, you're being hot headed." This time it got complicated because he was involved, and rather than hash it out with him in public, I did what I'd want a friend to do and kept it private. The conversation was private, and should stay that way, but please understand it was not about other members and what they said in the thread, there were no complaints or requests for any action as a mod.

    It should be made clear,
    I did NOT want religious, or any, threads banned. In one message to Paul, I even specifically said I don't like when threads are locked unless they've turned childish. I absolutely did NOT want the thread that made the mess to be locked, regardless of whether I was going to post in it again or not.

    I don't agree with censorship in here, but I can see how being carefully managed it can help keep civility on the board. I think just the infectious good nature and policing of the mods alone eliminates a need for censoring anything, but this will make his life easier and less members want to punch each other, and I'm fine with that for now (sorry Paul, I don't think I told you that on the phone, but I meant to before we got cut short).

    It is Paul's choice to cease religious threads, and I think he made his reasons clear, and his authority makes them pretty inarguable. I respect them and even see his side and agree for now, the tone of the board is aggressive and religion has been a subject more than a few times recently. Paul's job as a mod is to keep the peace, and this is one way he can do that. Edit: {He mentioned he got almost 50 PM's, so it's probably safe to say he has plenty of reasons we won't ever be aware of for banning religion for now.}

    My point in the thread was completely missed, and it seemed more like people reacted to what they assumed my problem was, rather than actually finding out what it was. That, combined with Paul and my's misunderstanding, led me to no longer have a desire to come back to CK5.
    Additionally, after being on CK5 for almost 5 years, I feel confident saying the tone of the board has been unusually aggressive and moody lately. Maybe it's just the holidays, maybe there are newer members that are grumpy, maybe older members are getting grumpy, or maybe my perspective is getting cloudy.

    Most of the comments made in other threads are based entirely on assumptions from incomplete information, and ridiculous in the face of the factual situation. I don't think you guys are jerks and I understand what you're thinking and why you're thinking it, but try to keep this in mind the next time you're ready to lynch someone after hearing a snippet of the whole story.

    Sorry if this was a dead horse, but I'm the only one who didn't get to beat it, and it seems everyone's building a house of assumptions about me.
    I hope I've made things a little more clear, and if I haven't, well, then that's the way it goes.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2005
  2. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Well since both of you two yahoos are My Friends I here by cyber pimp slap the both of you and order a group hug.
    :wink1: :D
     
  3. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Aight, now I know I'm not blowing it too bad out of proportion if a grumpy bastidge like you can order a group hug... :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. 2Dogs

    2Dogs 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Well done Ratch!!
     
  5. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    I sent a few pm's to Can Can, but they were totally unrelated. I'm not sure how many were actually aboot religion... :thinking:

    Bah. Who give a rip??? :wink1:

    We all know what CK5 is aboot: Trucks, Sheep, Blazers, Family, and How Big My Toolbox's Nuts Are! :haha:


    I see the good and the bad, but I'm with Can Can on this. Come on everyone, stand together now! :waytogo:
     
  6. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Well at least I didn't order group sex:eek1: :rotfl: :rotfl:
     
  7. mikey_d05

    mikey_d05 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    :doah: :doah: :doah:

    That is all.
     
  8. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Ahem.
     
  9. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    Maybe its just me, but it seems that 99% of the problems we have in the lounge are directly related to behind-the-scenes PMing between various people and various moderators. Maybe we should just get rid of PMs and have everything be public. This secret smoke-filled-room poop seems to be the entire problem. If people just voiced their opinion in the public forum, things would turn out much better. 99.9% of my PMs are related to buying/selling stuff and coordinating work days with shane74.... anything other than that I can/will take care of in public. Once things among friends start getting all secretive all hell breaks lose.

    j
     
  10. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    so you arent leaving than right ratch?

    that would be no bueno
     
  11. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    No, but taking a few steps back for a while. People are getting wound up and stomping around carelessly recently. I never took the break I was talking about last month, so I'm figuring I'll take it now, maybe actually get some work done when I'm at work...


    Jek, as always, you shoot strait and accurate. :thumb: :thumb:
    edit: Not meaning I don't think some things should be approached/kept in PM, but I know what you're saying.
     
  12. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    It's easy enough to get wound up pretty tight when you feel insulted. That's when you have to remember, this is the interweb. Glad to see this little incident blowing over. For what it's worth ratch, you're one of the good guys in my book.

    John
     
  13. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    cool beans amigo, I was hoping that you wouldn't take it the wrong way etc. :thumb: definitely wasn't trying to accuse anyone of anything or fan the flames... :D

    j
     
  14. chopped&bobbed77burb

    chopped&bobbed77burb 1/2 ton status

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    Why not just have a religon/political form with some strict guide lines . I can't understand why someone would run to a mod a complain about the big kids are being mean and what not . Get somethick skin and learn to dish it out . Yes there are some punk mouth children on here and it would be easier to just tell them to f**k off and be done with it OR just shine them on . I think all this drama is pretty funny and I just laugh . Reminds me of when I was 17yrs old and in Army bootcamp and the DI's are in your face yelling all this **** at you and it was funny to me but I remember guy's in their mid 20's would started sniveling or crying and I would just lose it and start laughing my ass off and I would have to drop and do some push ups :haha: . Sarge would be like " you think that's f'n funny " and I would still be laughing "yes sargent " . Man I did alot of push up's . Lighten up you pussies :D
     
  15. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Well fock you and your toolbox...
     

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