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???????Men AND Ladies of CK5- Tell me, ........IS THIS CHILD ABUSE ??????

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by uglychevyZZ4, Aug 4, 2003.

  1. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Ok, heres the scoop. Last nite my boys were dropped off by thier mom from thier weekend visit (she gets them every other weekend), and it was his first time ever hes taken his shirt off, and went in the water ( virgin white ass skin )and she says the 9 year old got a tad of sun at a DAYLONG birthday party.
    she leaves, so we look at him and:
    -he is burnt from his belt line to his hair line on his back
    -his shoulders are blistered badly
    -he states his mom HAD sunscreen and refused to let him use it stating "Itll mess up the pool water" (he always gladly uses it)
    -SHE states "he refused to use it" ?????????
    -if thats the truth--- she still opted to keep him in the scorchin 90 degree sun without it no matter WHY he didnt have it on, with pure baby white skin, and IN THE WATER.

    after a trip to the ER (we took him when he got home), he is suffering from 2nd degree burns over 40% of his body (since the waist to neck is the bodys mass) and he is also dehydrated and dosent want to eat, along with crying nonstop from the pain.

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    please give your opinions here, I am at odds with this one. AM I NUTS here for thinking this is fawkin child abuse and neglect????
    I will read all replys before i reply with MY opinion and action plan on this.
     
  2. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    well i can certainly see why she's your ex...im by no means a police officer or child welfare agent but i would think that its more along the lines of parental negligence <sp> and the most recourse you're likely to get is maybe her visitations revoked...
     
  3. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    even if she says he didn't want it....it's still her fault. What kind of parent would let this happen? Not a very responsible one /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  4. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    Poor little guy. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif I would suggest taking some pictures just so it is documented if anything ele happens.. Sounds neglectful at least. A friend of mine picked up her son from day care burnt from the son really bad like that and the provider ended up having to cover the doctors bills. The few years I worked at a child abuse shelter we never had anyone removed from the parents for sun burn alone but that doesnt mean it isnt considered neglectful. It makes you wonder if one refuses to protect thier kid from burning to that extent what else are they neglecting to do? Hope he feels better soon. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  5. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    That is child endangerment and neglect. Take pic's and have her charged!!

    That is about as asinine as leaving a kid in a hot car, and almost as dangerous. 2nd degree burns are no laughing matter, and no 9 year old is mature enough to get out of the sun and the pool on his (or her) own. If she can't afford your children the necessary supervision then she doesn't deserve to have access to them!!

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    Rene
     
  6. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    [ QUOTE ]
    That is child endangerment and neglect. Take pic's and have her charged!!

    That is about as asinine as leaving a kid in a hot car, and almost as dangerous. 2nd degree burns are no laughing matter, and no 9 year old is mature enough to get out of the sun and the pool on his (or her) own. If she can't afford your children the necessary supervision then she doesn't deserve to have access to them!!


    [/ QUOTE ]

    What Rene says here, I stand by his words. /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    To give you an idea of what 2nd degree sunburn is like, I was roofing a house in 90 degree sunny weather once and by the end of the day, I could not sit back on a car seat or chair. My back was so hot, I took a cold shower and then laid on the floor only to have freezing chills and shivering like crazy. Had Noxzema rubbed on my back while wincing in pain from the touch of the application and just laid there with a cold towel over that. I stayed home the next day and on the third day, I went back to work with a long sleeve shirt.

    I blistered and peeled 3 times from that 1 burn. Blistered up the following day and touching them would pop them to release fluid all over. The blisters were the size of golf balls, if not a little smaller. When the blistering stopped, my back dried up and peeled like any other sunburn. That went on for 2 more times of blistering and peeling. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif



    Your son could experience some pain for a few days and then some blistering and peeling for another week or two. He's gonna be in pain, so be ready for that. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  7. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    I think it's abuse. She INTENTIONALLY CHOSE not to protect him with the sunscreen KNOWING AS A MATURE ADULT that he could burn, then SHOWED NO REMORSE when he did. THEN went as far as to blame him ("he refused to wear it") If she was a caring mother, she would have INSISTED he wear it for HIS PROTECTION...
    She didn't. /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  8. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    I think it's abuse. She INTENTIONALLY CHOSE not to protect him with the sunscreen KNOWING AS A MATURE ADULT that he could burn, then SHOWED NO REMORSE when he did. THEN went as far as to blame him ("he refused to wear it") If she was a caring mother, she would have INSISTED he wear it for HIS PROTECTION...
    She didn't. /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]
    my thoughts exactly, I have only been able to be quiet so far, it makes me very angry for his sake, but thats pointless, after seeing his level of pain, Im am just beside myself that she could be so unattentive to the danger she put him in, it makes me sad for him. I think I will be making a motion to further restrict her visitation, I just am sick of the ER being a common visit after thier visits, and hope the court will see things in the aspect of it is neglectful, and is always something, and something bad. /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gifI hate to do it, i feel for them, and the distance beetween them and the mom and i have tried to foster the relationship but i must also keep them out of harms way. /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif

    Being a parent is hard, being a GOOD parent is DAMN HARD /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif
     
  9. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Re: ???????Men AND Ladies of CK5- Tell me, ........IS THIS CHILD ABUSE ????

    [ QUOTE ]
    Ok, heres the scoop. Last nite my boys were dropped off by thier mom from thier weekend visit (she gets them every other weekend), and it was his first time ever hes taken his shirt off, and went in the water ( virgin white ass skin )and she says the 9 year old got a tad of sun at a DAYLONG birthday party.
    she leaves, so we look at him and:
    -he is burnt from his belt line to his hair line on his back
    -his shoulders are blistered badly
    -he states his mom HAD sunscreen and refused to let him use it stating "Itll mess up the pool water" (he always gladly uses it)
    -SHE states "he refused to use it" ?????????
    -if thats the truth--- she still opted to keep him in the scorchin 90 degree sun without it no matter WHY he didnt have it on, with pure baby white skin, and IN THE WATER.

    after a trip to the ER (we took him when he got home), he is suffering from 2nd degree burns over 40% of his body (since the waist to neck is the bodys mass) and he is also dehydrated and dosent want to eat, along with crying nonstop from the pain.

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    please give your opinions here, I am at odds with this one. AM I NUTS here for thinking this is fawkin child abuse and neglect????
    I will read all replys before i reply with MY opinion and action plan on this.

    [/ QUOTE ] That is a tuff one. But I would have too put the welfare of the child first. If she isn't bright enough too put sun screen on him, or atleast bring him in out of the hot sun ( or put a shirt on him ) then maybe she shouldn't be taking car of him. Not even for a weekend. Well, not unsuperviced anyways.
     
  10. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    The other thing is, when a child starts to burn you can see it...she didn't. I've been outside with my son and didn't think he was getting a sun burn, but once it starts you can tell...then slap the sunscreen on at least to keep it from getting wicked bad like his was. I mean, blisters and second degree burns and she didn't notice he was getting red?
    You know her better than us though...is she a selfish, non-maternal mother or is there any doubt that she honestly didn't notice or couldn't tell? Too busy having herself a good time to check him? Also, is this the first "red flag" or have there been other instances to raise suspicion as to her being incompetent?
     
  11. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Being a parent is hard, being a GOOD parent is DAMN HARD

    [/ QUOTE ]

    You got that right Rob! I must say I admire your restraint in this situation...I can't say I'd be as collected as you've been so far. I would seriously look into having her charged. At the least it's negligince causing harm, more likely is endangerment...especially with the stronger UV we have now (as compared to when we were kids)

    Rene
     
  12. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    i agree with what everyone said get pics of it now and keep getting pics all throughout the process and defiantly press charges against her /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif she says he refused to wear it she is the adult she should have told him (if he actually did refuse to wear it( i believe the kid saying she said it would meas up the pool)) if you don't put some on you have to go inside out of the sun. so ya nail her ass to the wall /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif
     
  13. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    DING DING DING !!! give the girl a prize!!!

    [ QUOTE ]
    You know her better than us though...is she a selfish, non-maternal mother

    [/ QUOTE ]
    I see you are a VERY intuitive mother, and person, you are right.I havent heard it so correctly to the point as that, thank you for putting it into words.
    [ QUOTE ]
    Also, is this the first "red flag" or have there been other instances to raise suspicion as to her being incompetent?

    [/ QUOTE ]
    BINGO!!! thats why i am the custodial parent, its not the first time she has "overlooked" thier well being,I'll just put it that way /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
    [ QUOTE ]
    when a child starts to burn you can see it...she didn't. once it starts you can tell...

    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gifHe had blisters when she dropped him off, and she just smeared some goop on him, thinking those other 3 layers of skin was fine ....i guess /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
     
  14. Topdown

    Topdown 1/2 ton status

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    Bottom line bro, she is the parent. if the kid dont want to wear sunscreen, too fawkin bad, he isnt the parent, he doesnt get to make that decision. If the parent isnt responsible enough to take charge and keep the child from harm then that parent needs to at least be investigated or have thier head worked on.

    As a brand new parent the idea that CSD can come into my life and steal away my child scares me to absolute death, but I also know I would NEVER intentionally allow my child to burn. Negligence is one thing, intention is different. If she didnt realize he was burning, she may have learned the lesson of a lifetime... if she did, and didnt do anything about it, thats neglect and needs to be dealt with.

    Bottom line... is your child safe? Yes, then talk to her about it and come to an understanding. No? then something needs to be done to ensure your childs safety.

    I would poke out my eyes with a hot steel poker before willingly removing a child from thier parent, but if that parent is endangering that child... that hot poker is going somewhere else!

    Sorry to be so incensed by this but like I said, I am a new parent and my protective nature is at its all-time high.
     
  15. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    I would seriously look into having her charged. At the least it's negligince causing harm, more likely is endangerment...especially with the stronger UV we have now (as compared to when we were kids)

    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif I just talked to the local P.D. and they were very upset to hear the circumstances, and thought it SHOULD be an arrestable offense, but it isnt, they said it is the decision of the court to restrict her visitation in some way. so guess where im going tomorrow /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif I see I have no other way to keep them out of harms way, I just wish she herself had to feel the "physical" reprocussions the kids always feel.
    [ QUOTE ]
    I must say I admire your restraint in this situation...I can't say I'd be as collected as you've been so far.

    [/ QUOTE ] thanks, ive learned long ago that inappropriate behavior gets you nowhere, especially the kids.
     
  16. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Thanks Topdown, I wasnt sure if my parental instincts were in overtime but its nice to see others feel the same way. /forums/images/graemlins/ears.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ears.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ears.gif /forums/images/graemlins/ears.gif
     
  17. Topdown

    Topdown 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    No worries man... As far as I can tell (in the 3 months I have been a father), the difference between a parent and a good parent is the decision and effort to pay attention. Pay attention to what? Does it matter? if your childs doing it or its happening to them, pay attention... you dont have to get involved, but you definitely need to know what the score is.

    -Ryan
     
  18. ChevyCaGal

    ChevyCaGal 3/4 ton status

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    If you have too question in your own mind if it's abuse, that should be the first clue to you it is... abuse comes in many forms, this can be considered one of them. Sticking a cig on your kids back can cause a blister, which is abuse. Being negligent to them in the sun causing burns which blistered is a form of abuse... same result in the end, different ways to reach it. Your ex is a moron using the excuse he refused to use sunscreen. HELLO, she is the adult, he is the kid, you tell him to put it on, end of story. If they refuse, they get to sit on their butt until they realize you are the ADULT they are the KID.

    Document everything really well, take pics, lots of them, and if you can, have others look at them too, like maybe a friend or two. Basically just another person to say you are right about the degree of burns... even beyond the doctors in the ER. More proof is better. You could definately use this against her if you wanted too....
     
  19. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    You could definately use this against her if you wanted too....

    [/ QUOTE ] not my intention at all, its not a point for me, its proof for the kids, to show the truth in thier best interest. and yes, no skills to do the
    " Im the parent, you will be safe whether you like it or not" area.
     
  20. MudNurI

    MudNurI 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    -he states his mom HAD sunscreen and refused to let him use it stating "Itll mess up the pool water" (he always gladly uses it)


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I dont have time to get into the child abuse issue- though I think it is neglet, child endagerment etc... however I can tell you has an AFO, and CPO (Aquatics Facility Operater, Certified Pool Operator, both nationally certified).....anyone who tells you sun screen screws up pool water needs a clue. I've heard that more times than I can tell you.....its a crock of sh*t. If a pool is chemically balanced, and filtered correctly- any and all lotions, oils etc.. will be broken down and filtered out of a system in 1 turn over (normally 4 hours of filtration in a "home pool").....

    Do NOT ever let your children swim in a pool where people are concerned about sunscreen screwing up the chemicals, its a red flag that they haven't a clue about PH, and Alkalynity. Which means there is probably other issues with the unstable pool that you don't want to think about....think e-coli for instance.

    By the way- good luck with this- I'd have beaten her if it was my kids......

    Brandy
     

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