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Men's List For Women

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Ryan B., Oct 23, 2002.

  1. Ryan B.

    Ryan B. 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Men\'s List For Women

    My friend sent this to me...

    >It's the men's turn...
    >
    >We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
    >from
    >the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered
    >"1"
    >ON PURPOSE! Print this out and pass to your partner for a
    >greater understanding:
    >
    >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    >down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about
    >you
    >leaving it down.
    >
    >1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
    >can
    >find the perfect present yet again!
    >
    >1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
    >
    >1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
    >short
    >hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
    >women
    >always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
    >
    >1. Crying is blackmail.
    >
    >1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
    >not
    >work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    >
    >1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
    >calendar.
    >Remind us frequently beforehand.
    >
    >1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
    >be
    >any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
    >your
    >dress?
    >
    >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    >
    >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
    >what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    >
    >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    >
    >1. Check your oil! Please.
    >
    >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
    >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    >
    >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse
    >to answer.
    >
    >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
    >ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    >
    >1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    >done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
    >yourself.
    >
    >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    >commercials.
    >
    >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    >
    >1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
    >for
    >example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
    >
    >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    >
    >1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    >mind-reading
    >ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    >
    >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
    >hassle.
    >
    >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
    >you don't want to hear.
    >
    >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    >Really.
    >
    >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    >discuss such topics as the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
    >
    >1. You have enough clothes.
    >
    >1. You have too many shoes.
    >
    >1. No you really do have too many shoes.
    >
    >1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    >
    >1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    >
    >tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
    >camping.
    >
    >1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.


    /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  2. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gifi have a similiar version , i like it.
     
  3. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    100% so very true. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    What is this "gang up on woman" week? That's the second time in a week that list was posted! /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif J/K
     
  6. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    jacob
     
  7. TXsizeK5

    TXsizeK5 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Men\'s List For Women

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Im sending this to my girlfriend! Too funny! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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