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Mens Rules

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chris87K5, Oct 16, 2002.

  1. Chris87K5

    Chris87K5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2002
    Posts:
    322
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    Location:
    Pennsyltucky
    We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK, we now hear the guys'
    side...

    These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON
    PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl - If it's up, put it
    down.

    1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as trucks, deer hunting strategy, or the best fishing
    knot.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
    way.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine.
    Really.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!


    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
    Remind us frequently beforehand.

    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good
    at choosing which pair out of thirty would look good with your dress?

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


    1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what
    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Check your oil, please! Don't ask if we think it is a good idea.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
    all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act
    like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -
    not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
    months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

    1. ALL men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
    example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
    what mauve or lilac or heather are.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing", we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's really notworth the hassle.

    1. I'm in shape - ROUND is a shape.
     
  2. 87Blazerlady

    87Blazerlady 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2002
    Posts:
    749
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    Location:
    Southeast PA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I laughed so hard at this I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
    needed that I guess. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
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    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Gotta love it...... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  4. COCHEV

    COCHEV 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2002
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    4,055
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    Location:
    Washougal WA
    i'm rollin! fawkin great! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. TONYP

    TONYP 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2002
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    Location:
    so cal
    you got it right,
    Just sent it to my wife, but had to use a buds email address /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  6. blk87K5

    blk87K5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2001
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    Location:
    Lubbock, Texas
    If I was President...
    /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  7. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    corpus christi, texas.
    lol perty good one. sounds about right to me too. later.

    jacob
     
  8. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot 1/2 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2000
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    Location:
    Western Massachusetts
    Except for 1 or 2 of those, that is me to a 'T'. Probably not a good thing, but why change now /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
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    Location:
    OKC, Oklahoma
    Perfect!
     

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