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Military Humor

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Jul 30, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy
    back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced
    Colonel at the wheel.
    "Your jeep stuck sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
    "Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys,
    "Yours is."

    **
    Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was
    sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of
    his new position, the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman
    to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes General, I'll be seeing him
    this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank
    you for your good wishes, sir."
    Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man,
    he asked, "What do you want?"
    "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up
    your telephone."
    ****
    On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian
    aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the
    middle.
    One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is
    it?"
    The tower responded, "who is calling?"
    The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
    The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If you're an American
    Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If you're an Air Force plane, it is 1500
    hours. If you're a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you're a Marine Corps
    aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. But if
    you're an Army aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy
    Hour!!!".

    ****
    Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
    Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
    Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"
    Officer: " Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"
    Soldier: "No, SIR!"

    ****
    Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
    A: He'll tell you.

    Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
    A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

    Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?"
    A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

    ****
    "Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I
    suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for
    me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
    "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm
    never going to stand in line again!"
     
  2. SlyDog

    SlyDog 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Scottsdale, Arizona
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I love the first one! Thanks for making me laugh after a trip to the dentist /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
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    [ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif I love the first one! Thanks for making me laugh after a trip to the dentist /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]
    any time /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    Location:
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    i was expecting to open this and see an empty box... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Mayberry (Auburn, WA)
    [ QUOTE ]
    120 minutes to "Happy Hour!!!".


    [/ QUOTE ]


    Go Army!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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