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Misc. Humor

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bigmeats, Mar 30, 2002.

  1. Bigmeats

    Bigmeats 1/2 ton status

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    Some of these are just plain harsh
    >
    >
    >
    > >>>Subject: Misc. Humor
    > >>>Date: Fri, 1 Mar 2002 17:31:32 -0600
    > >>>
    > >>>
    > >>>
    > >>>Q) What's the best form of birth control after 50?
    > >>>A) Nudity
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a girlfriend and a
    > >>>wife?
    > >>>(A) 45 lbs.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
    > >>>husband?
    > >>>(A) 45 minutes.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) How many women does it take to change a light
    > >>>bulb?
    > >>>(A) None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    > >>>(A) Through his chest with a sharp knife.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why are men and parking spaces alike?
    > >>>(A) Because all the good ones are taken and the only
    > >>>ones left are disabled.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why do men want to marry virgins?
    > >>>(A) They can't stand criticism.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
    > >>>sensitive, caring, and good looking?
    > >>>(A) Because those men already have boyfriends.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a new husband and a
    > >>>new dog?
    > >>>(A) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What makes men chase women they have no intention
    > >>>of marrying?
    > >>>(A) The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have
    > >>>no intention of driving.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What do you call a smart blonde?
    > >>>(A) A golden retriever.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in
    > >>>third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
    > >>>(A) The blonde, because she's 18.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Which sexual position produces the ugliest
    > >>>children?
    > >>>(A) Ask your Mom.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
    > >>>restroom?
    > >>>(A) Say, "Nice Dick."
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    > >>>(A) Because they have cotton balls.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a porcupine and a
    > >>>BMW?
    > >>>(A) A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What did the blonde say when she found out she was
    > >>>pregnant?
    > >>>(A) Are you sure it's mine?"
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer
    > >>>Nuts?
    > >>>(A) Beer Nuts are under $1, and Deer Nuts are always
    > >>>under a buck.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    > >>>(A) Mace will do that to you.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
    > >>>(A) Everyone has the same DNA.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What would you call it when an Italian has one arm
    > >>>shorter than the other?
    > >>>(A) A speech impediment.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    > >>>(A) Breasts don't have eyes.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a Southern zoo,and a
    > >>>Northern zoo?
    > >>>(A) A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on
    > >>>the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    > >>>(A) Row row row your boat.
    > >>> ___________________________________________________
    > >>>(Q) What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
    > >>>and a Southern fairytale?
    > >>>(A) A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A
    > >>>Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe
    > >>>this [censored]."
     
  2. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    LMAO..../forums/images/icons/smile.gif/forums/images/icons/wink.gif
     

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