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Moral dilemma

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Ruthven13, Jan 9, 2007.

  1. Ruthven13

    Ruthven13 1/2 ton status

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    So here goes. I live on a small (seven houses) cul-de-sac and all of us are friendly with each other. My next door neighbors invite me and the parents over for their parties and we all try to help each other out. Now, I volunteered to recaulk and grout their shower while they were on vacation not expecting or wanting any money in return. And I did tell them this, and would not let them pay me. So, to avoid confrontation again she left an envelope in the mailbox for me with the money inside. For about two weeks I have let it sit there, unopened, thinking about what to do. I know that they would not take it back, but I do feel bad about accepting it. And tonight I finally did open the envelope due to curiosity and to make things even better I feel like they gave me far too much. It probably took me four hours over the course of two nights to perform the job, but that was taking my time and drinking beer. They ended up giving me $150 for the job, and I didn't tell them how long it took me. I just wanted to be neighborly. I am not really sure what I am asking here, maybe just trying to rationalize the situation to myself?
     
  2. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    Keep the money. No dilemma here.

    They knew your terms and felt you deserved it anyway. Invite them over for steaks if it makes you feel better, but I wouldn't even think twice about not keeping it. .002c
     
  3. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Don't insult their generosity by giving it back.

    Sometimes you absolutely do not want to take money for helping your friends but they insist. If you refuse you hurt their feelings. Best to take it with humility.

    There will be plenty of other opportunities to reciprocate.
     
  4. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    There ya go! Have a nice ole get together and you host. Sounds like a great plan to me.
     
  5. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    yeah like he said.:D
     
  6. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    X3.

    You did a small job for them. They were happy with your work. They paid you for it. End of story.

    Enjoy your cash, and don't cheapen their offer by saying "you shouldn't have" or anything like that. Next time you see them, give them a big smile and an even bigger "thank you".
     
  7. rick88blaze

    rick88blaze 1/2 ton status

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    This is more than likely what I would do. :D

    Rick
     
  8. dyeager535

    dyeager535 1 ton status Premium Member

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    I've got a friend that ALWAYS takes money offered to him. Lesson being, if you don't really want to give, you don't offer. :)

    I'd take it, just be thankful.
     
  9. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    no dillema at all. Take the $ and put it in your RothIRA.

    If you really feel that guilty, use the $150 to buy a bunch of steaks / brats / burgers and invite them over for a cool BBQ or something as a "thank you". :thumb:

    j
     
  10. cegusman

    cegusman 3/4 ton status

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    Just send me the money if you don't want it.
     
  11. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    you beat me to it.:bow: :haha: :haha:

    Seriously, read Crickets post.
     
  12. chalet2506

    chalet2506 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Reciprocity makes both parties involved feel good. It helps relieve the giver of any debt they feel they may owe you, even if you told them not to worry about it. In addition, everybody likes recognition for good things they do for other people. Keep the money, go buy yourself a shackle flip or something.

    Plus, if they accidently kill your cat somewhere down the road. You can't say, " After all I did for them sorry a$$ so and so's and never charged them, they have the balls to run over my cat!"
     
  13. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

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    One trip to the mall and I'd be over the guilt of accepting the money.:o

    As others have said... just be gracious and quietly accept the money. Be on the lookout for opportunities in the future to do something for them... (more cash :D ). Seriously.... sounds like you've got some good neighbors.

    If you're all that adamant about not keeping the money, you could always donate to a favorite charity or something of that nature. However, I'm sure if you think hard enough you could come up with something to purchase with that money:p:
     
  14. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Your HIRED! :)

    We have a bathroom with about 50-75 ceramic tiles that came off the walls,and one wall where the bathtub faucet is,the sheetrock dissolved completely,and now we have plastic duct taped over the gaping hole,with the studs showing!--and the water has rotted some of the plywood floor out too,right under the tub..I've already had to reinforce the floor from underneath, to prevent someone from falling into my room downstairs!..

    Want a job??..:p: ..I'm no carpenter,would rather turn wrenches than do home repair!..best thing I can make out of wood is a nice hot FIRE!..:tongue1: ..

    If it were my house ,I'd rip out the bathtub,we never use it,we take showers...and I'd put a "stand up" shower with a seat so my mother could use it more easily..but she's a stubborn and cheep old S.O.B.,and wont pay to fix anything--and I'm not fixing it either,its not my house,nor will it ever be most likely!..

    A wise owner of a local junkyard,who's a multi-millionaire, I sometimes do work for, told me one day when I didn't want to accept 50 bucks for doing a job that took me only 5 minutes to do, "NEVER REFUSE MONEY!"...."its an insult to whoever offered it to you,and they wouldn't give it if they didn't have it to give,or thought you didn't deserve it!"...

    I thanked him and put the money in my pocket!..and he is always generous with his payments,isn't afraid to give a few more bucks as a "bonus" if he's happy with the work I did..

    I always hate taking money from friends,neighbors,relatives,too..it's not my nature to be greedy,I enjoy giving and helping more than "getting"....I rarely took cash for plowing my elderly neighbors driveways after a blizzard,but they usually get me to take it one way or the other..one cold winter morning I found a 20 dollar bill under my trucks windshield wiper blade,and the note said "from the friend you plowed out last night without us calling--dont you DARE try to return it!"...:wink1: ..

    I say"Go On, take the money and run",just like Steve Miller says..;)
     
  15. Ruthven13

    Ruthven13 1/2 ton status

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    Thank you all for the replies and opinions. After some thinking and reading your responses I think I will keep it and not confront them about it. I will most likely treat them to some beer and good cow products during the outside cooking-type weather....
     
  16. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    There will always be something you can help them with. :thumb:
     
  17. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    my best friends dad is the same way, every time i help him with his truck or my friend with his, he hands me money, a couple weeks ago it was 100 bucks for helping swap a 10 bolt, i handed it back and told him "if this was another one of those 3/4 ton abortions we did last time, id take it, but you keep it, and he insisted, so i stuck it in my pocket and my buddy just laughed, we went for gear oil and lunch and i handed him the cash and said, here, you take it, do what you want with it, but buy me lunch and a beer... he did, and gave the rest back after i left... this guy was like a dad to me growing up and bought me my first bmx bike, and all i had to do was mow his yard and help do stuff like that when i was 13, i say the same , have a cookout for them, on their dime...
     
  18. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    Here are your best two choices^^

    The Roth idea is so good because you only pay tax on the money in a Roth when you earn it- so this money AND whatever it earns will never be taxed.

    But if you must give it back, do it in the of a cook-out or something similar.

    Whatever you do make sure you say "Thank you".
     
  19. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    the Super Bowl is comin' up... good excuse for $100 worth of BBQ-related food 'n' alky.... :grin: :thumb:

    j
     
  20. Ruthven13

    Ruthven13 1/2 ton status

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    See, this is why I like it here. Y'all speak your mind an most of the time I appreciate that :D . Idealistic views they may be at times, yet at other times that is what is needed....
     

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