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more jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 11, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
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    A blonde calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been
    > > >broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the
    > >dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake
    > >pedal and even the accelerator!" she cries.
    > >The dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few
    > >minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." he says. "She got in
    > >the back seat by mistake."

    ______________________________________________
    > This old lady had been married to a farmer all her
    > adult life. They had
    > cows and horses on their farm and also grew a
    > number of crops for sale at
    > the local farmer's market. While shopping at the
    > local grocery store for
    > a few items that she and her husband did not raise
    > or grow for themselves,
    > she came across a contest form. It was from the
    > Carnation Milk Company, and
    > the object was to complete a jingle in 50 words or
    > less. The company
    > furnished the first line of the jingle: "I like
    > Carnation best of all. . ."
    > and it was about those little cans of milk found
    > on grocery store shelves. .
    > objects of both humor and scorn for the farm
    > couple.
    >
    > So she completed the jingle and sent it off to the
    > Carnation Milk Company.
    >
    > A couple of months later, the woman was surprised
    > when a Carnation Milk
    > representative came to her door and told her that
    > her entry was the best
    > one submitted; however it was unfortunate that the
    > company could not publish
    > it.
    > So in lieu of publishing, they had decided that
    > her entry was worth at
    > least a consolation award and presented her with a
    > company check in the amount of $1000 for her
    > creativity. Here is her entry:
    >
    > "I like Carnation best of all,
    > No tits to pull, no [censored] to haul.
    > No barns to clean, no hay to pitch
    > Just punch a hole in the sonofabitch."
     

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