A Riddle: Schwartzenegger has a big one Michael J. Fox has a small one Madonna doesn't have one The Pope has one but doesn't use his Clinton uses his all the time Mickey Mouse has an unusual one George Burns' was hot Liberace never used his on women Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his We never saw Lucy use Desi's What is it? Answer below! (this is really good) The answer is: "A Last Name." ________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Once upon a time there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his father. Looking at his dad's hands, the boy says, "Papa, you do many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers." "Wella Tony," Papa said, "You seea this first finger? You use a dis a one to point a to whata evea you wanna to. You see youa thumb? You usea disa for turna pages in a book, and your ringa finger, you will use whena you get a married, and your little finga, you use to picka you nose. And the middle finga, well, I'lla tella you about thata one when youa getta married." Little Tony was satisfied with that and time past. It was now Tony's wedding day. It was a beautiful wedding and just before he was leaving with his bride, Tony went to have a talk with Papa. Tony said, "Papa, many years ago you told me to use this finger to point at what I want, to turn pages with my thumb, to pick my nose with this little one, and to put my wedding ring on this one, but, Papa, what is it I do with this middle finger?" Papa drew close to Tony and said, "Tony, tonighta you will makea mad hotta love to youa woman many times, and youa may getta tired. When thatta happens, and youa woman turns to you an wanna makea da love againa, that's when you takea your middle finga.... and you poka on her head and say, 'Go back to sleep youa silly woman!'" _______________________________________ > SURVIVOR - Texas Style > > > > > > Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to > do > > its > > own, entitled Survivor, Texas Style. The contestants will start in > > Dallas, > > travel to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to > > > Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, > > then to > > Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they'll proceed > > to > > Abilene, Ft. Worth and finally back to Dallas. > > > > Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, > > > "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted > > for Al Gore, George Strait Sucks and I'm here to > > confiscate your guns!" The first one to make it back to Dallas alive > > > wins.............. __________________________________________ A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a powerwrestler! Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man pauses to think, and then replies, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."