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My dream for the day..........major rant!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Pure Insanity, Jun 20, 2002.

  1. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    [RANT]I would like to see every Jaguar ever made jump up, flip on its roof, and burst into flames! I absolutely HATE these cars. Since I have been working for my dad, he has done his best to keep them clear of me. Todays adventure was I had to install a starter in a V12! I started on it at 2 PM. At 5 I had walked away and came back 4 times to keep myself calm. To start w/ you have to remove the exhaust down tube w/ the cat. Not too bad but 1 nut is damn near impossible to reach. THEN you need to jack the motor up about an inch to get it out! The strter bolt on the bottom is right there easy to get to. The upper bolt is WAY up there, w/ no access. You have to unbolt the tranny Xmember to drop the tranny to get some kind of access to the bolt that for some unknown reason, in Jags infinite wisdom decided to put in from the tranny forward! Did I mention that Jag stiil seems to use fractional bolts. What was I thinking working on a 95 Jag and reaching for metric!? It gets worse! After going at this for about an hr I ended up w/ my brother and one of the other guys helping me try to conquer this POS! For 2 hrs we fought that top bolt. Dennis finally took out the little telescopic mirror to find out why NO socket would fit. For whatever reason there is a 12 point star bolt on it! WTF! All this could be avoided by running the bolt from the starter to the tranny rather than tranny to starter. Makes NO sense! I can gaurantee that the motor and tranny were installed w/ most of the exhaust and the eng Xmember in one piece from the bottom. There is NO way to get to the tranny bolts on this beast. I am dying to see what the "book time" is for this job. [/RANT]

    Sorry I just had to vent. This is the 4th one I have had the misfortune of working on since I have been there, and the 4th one I have walked away from aggrivated and cussing over what an abortion these cars are.
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    It's time for a cold one PI...HEHEHEHEHE /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  3. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Amazingly enough. I havent had a beer. I got home from work loaded the wife and kids in PI and went to my grandmothers.

    Oh yeah to add injury to insult, (yeah I know thats backwards) I am gonna need to go to the Dr in the morn because I got something in my right eye. Its not just on my eye its IN my eye. Jaguars and I have a long history of hating eachother. When I was 12 I went to the shop w/ dad and got something in my eye working on one. I truely hate these cars!

    I came to the basic determination that Jack the Ripper wasnt a bad guy......He was a Jag Mechanic that just snapped one day!
     
  4. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    I came to the basic determination that Jack the Ripper wasnt a bad guy......He was a Jag Mechanic that just snapped one day!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    ROTFLMAO!!!! I get that way working on our Jeep...musta been assembled by triple jointed contortionist midgets or something. Nobody with normal hands can access half the crap on those things!!!

    rene
     
  5. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

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    I HATE cars like that! Unfortunatly I'm usuallt the one that gets them. Not only do I have asian girl hands, I b!tch the least! We know one of those things will change.....eventually. Most times when other guys get in a jam they call me over as well "hay think you can reach this". I usually need to walk away after a while as well. The worst is doing it at home....nowhere to go! AAAGGGHHHHH!
     
  6. 55Willy

    55Willy 3/4 ton status

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    Anyone ever do a starter on an Infinity??
    does anyone know where they are located???
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    INSIDE THE ENGINE!!! you have to pull the intake to get to it.
    Now who was smokin' crack??
     
  7. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    I honestly think I would work on Jeeps anyday over Jags.
     
  8. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Well Its like this, I wish I were smaller. I cant stand up straight under a lift. (6'3") Im not exactly a small guy (240) and I just measured for a giggle, I have just shy of a 10 in. span on my hands. (From thumb to little finger.) My dad and brother are both about the same size as me, (I am the biggest tho) so If Petes not there, there are no "little" guys around to go after that stuff. And he was on vacation this past week. Dennis who I mentioned up top, is semi retired, and only comes in 2 days a week.

    So needless to say I dont fit in too well for most of this stuff. Thats why my hands and arms look like they have been thru a meat grinder. LOL! I have RAILED myself on the lift more than I can remember. I was walking under an Astro Van on the lift and caught the shock mount! I hit the floor like a rock. LOL!
     
  9. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Next time we get an Infinity Ill have to look for that.

    What about 2.8 Camaro/ Firebirds. To remove the valve covers, you need to remove the intake plenum! DUUUH!
     
  10. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

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    10 inches!!!!! Jesus!! I just measured........I'm strugglin' to get 8 in.! At about 6'1", 200 lbs, I feal your pain about those #*&amp;!!*$!! racks Hit my head more than I can remember. Under dashboards....thats fun in the summertime too. Damn cars! I could lay behind the dash in my blazer.

    Hay 55 willy, Your not supposed to keep those cars long enough to put a starter in em'. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     
  11. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

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    I'm the lil' guy in our shop. I'm the one they flip up into the car when its on the rack, some of 'em like to "over-do-it" and try to toss me over the car. (*basterds*)
    Thumb to finger spread is allmost 9".

    Hate that mystery bolt crap..
     
  12. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    I just had to take the thumb to finger tes , I got exactly 9" /forums/images/icons/frown.gif /forums/images/icons/wink.gif
     
  13. highwaydevil

    highwaydevil 1/2 ton status

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    Span test: 9-3/4" but thin fingers so I can get into those tight spaces. I feel for you tall guys, I'm only 5'9" 130lbs.
     
  14. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

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    Dude, you guys SUCK! You all must get all the laidies! LOL
     
  15. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    i hated working on my suburban when it was stock. mudbogAD and i replaced the flex plate when it was stock height. removed the drivelines, x-case, exhaust, tranny and replaced the plate then put it all back in, not enough room under there to bench press a th-400./forums/images/icons/frown.gif and one time i had to replace the starter on my grandma's oldsmobile 98, GGGGGRRRRRR, hated that!!!

    oh and i'm 6' tall and 245lbs with a 10 1/4" hand span. /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  16. greywolf

    greywolf 1/2 ton status

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    ok i'm 5'9" 205lbs w/ piano fingers spread is 10 1/4 inches
    my buddys abuse me at the gas station with reach in here grab that.i even got called ET one time.
     
  17. BurbinOR

    BurbinOR 3/4 ton status

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    That is exactly why my engine builder has made a fortune putting TPI motors/700R4's into over 108 Jags..........they SUCK. Silly English bloke engineers......... /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif
     
  18. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    OOOH /forums/images/icons/ooo.gif Frank has his own "engine builder", Tell me bud where were you standin when that big sack o' coin fell from the sky...LMAO J/K bud, I think the liquer's kickin' in hehehe /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     
  19. ntaj*ep

    ntaj*ep 1/2 ton status

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    Holy SH!T!!! 10 &amp; 1/4 inches!!! Thats huge. OK lets not get into this any farther I feel bad enough already. Me and my small...er medium gloves are going now. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     
  20. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    You said you were struggling to get 8" nah nah na nah nah... /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     

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