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My funny maids

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big pappa b, Oct 22, 2004.

  1. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    So I've been in Vegas for a little over 2 months now, I stay in a Residence Inn and got a new maid about a month ago when I changed rooms. I just went in to get a shower and saw somethiat had me laughing thru my whole shower. She cleans the room once or twice a week depending on when I'm sleeping. Every week she cleans the bathroom to include the shower. I have my own shampoo and bottles of liquid soap. After she cleanss it she put a new floor towel and wash cloth folded on the edge of the tub along with the hotel soap and mini shampoo bottle. So when I go in there I automatically put the soap and shampoo on the toilet lid (cause I dont use theirs), throw the wash cloth in the shower and lay the other towel on the floor. So when I just went in there I did my usual routine by moving the soap and shampoo onto the toilet but today I was like "WTF" Apparently she don't get it. I had amassed 8 bars of soap and 8 bottles of shampoo. She just keeps bringing more and more. I wonder how many more I can get over the next 3.5 weeks /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Her english vocabulary consists of "housekeeping, hello and goodbye" /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
    One day it took me about 5 minutes to get her to understand I need a dish cloth. She kept grabbing a different type of towel off her cart until she got it right.
     
  2. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    When we where in South Dakota about a month ago, we got up and was getting repacked and ready to take off. The maid knocks on the door and says "house keeping" EXACTALLY like in the movie Tommy Boy; I about lost it! I was laughing so hard I was tearing up and no one else got it till caught my breath and told them what I was laughing about. Its was the same high pitched voice, and she hit every sylable just like David Spade. When we left the maid stuck her head out of the room next to ours and gave me a shitty look /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

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    Is she cute?
     
  4. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    heh, we must have the same maid. I think of Tommy boy every time I hear her too /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Still waiting for " you like a handjob"...I would die laughing then
     
  5. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Is she cute?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    uh..no
    well, maybe if you like slightly overweight mexican women that speak no english. She does great house work though /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

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    I think that maids are like nurses, you will always see cute ones on TV, but in real life they are people I wouldn't even fantasize about.
     
  7. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    I think that maids are like nurses, you will always see cute ones on TV, but in real life they are people I wouldn't even fantasize about.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I don't know about that... There are a few cute maids that work at Little America Hotel... Of course, they don't speak english, but they're still cute /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     
  8. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    you guys say she cant speak english like its a bad thing. THEY CANT ARGUE THAT WAY! /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  9. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

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    That reminds me of this joke -- sorry it's kinda long, but it's really funny /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


    This is supposedly some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Maid,

    Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.
    Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish.
    They are in my way.
    Thank you,
    S. Berman
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Room 635,

    I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave
    3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
    Kathy, Relief Maid
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Maid,

    I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap.
    When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
    S. Berman
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Berman,

    My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
    Your regular maid,
    Dotty
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Berman,

    The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room.
    I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.
    If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.
    Elaine Carmen
    Housekeeper
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Miss Carmen,

    It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6:00 PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night.
    You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf.
    In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

    S. Berman
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Berman,

    Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and
    5 PM. Thank you,
    Elaine Carmen,
    Housekeeper
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Kensedder,

    My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
    S. Berman
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Berman,

    I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

    Martin L. Kensedder
    Assistant Manager
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mrs. Carmen,
    Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

    S. Berman
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mr. Berman,

    You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
    Elaine Carmen
    Housekeeper
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mrs. Carmen,

    Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess...

    On shelf under medicine cabinet ...
    18 Camay, (4 stacks of 4) and (1 stack of 2) On Kleenex dispenser ...
    11 Camay, (2 stacks of 4) and (1 stack of 3).
    On bedroom dresser ...
    3 Cashmere Bouquet, (1 stack of 3)
    4 Hotel-size Ivory, (1 stack of 4)
    8 Camay, (2 stacks of 4)
    Inside medicine cabinet ...
    14 Camay, (3 stacks of 4) and (1 stack of 2) In shower soap dish ...
    6 Camay, (very moist)
    On northeast corner of tub ...
    1 Cashmere Bouquet, (slightly used) On northwest corner of tub ...
    6 Camays, (2 stacks of 3)

    Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.


    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  10. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    I hope it doesnt come to that but I can see it as not being out of the question /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif
     
  11. stallion85

    stallion85 1/2 ton status

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    Make sure she doesn't find the crusty towel, that could be a little embarrasing /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  12. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    I had the same thing happening last summer after the air station kicked us out of the barracks and we had to live off-base. I stayed at an Extended Stay America for 4 months, and at one point I had like 10 bars of soap and a six-pack of shampoos.


    [poor David Spade voice]

    "Fluff your pillow?"

    [voice off]
     
  13. JIM88K5

    JIM88K5 1/2 ton status

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    Don't drop the soap !!! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  14. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    Yesterday got 1 new bottle of shampoo, 2 bath soaps and a bar of facial soap.
    I'm gonna open a bath house when I leave here /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  15. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    We had maids at the barracs in Japan, it kicked ass /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif they would clean the room, make the beds, some of them would do your laundry and doo your dishes also, i used to feed my maid M&M's and she would make me shushi /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  16. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    If you do...call it" Slap her on the ass and call her CHARLIE bath house " /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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