Well i have decided to do it, be a "guinnie pig" and i'm going back in the hospital tomorrow for some "experimental treatment"..i have been stressing out all day, scared as hell. i might come out and everything works and i get better. i might come out and it not work and i continue to decline, or i might not come out at all. wow i feel more alone tonight than i have in a long time. the ex called me earlier today and said she would come see me and spend some time with me this afternoon/evening. so i was really looking foward to that. get my mind off things and relax for a bit. but then she called at about 10pm and said she waas to tired and wasn't gonna come over tonight. and even though i expected her to do that. it still hurts..this could have very well have been the last time i got to see her, or anyone for that matter. thank you to all of you that have been there fo me, and all the advice you have offered. you guys have been great. i know i won't be sleeping tonight, so i'll probably be on here off and on tonight and early tomorrow morning.