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Needs some advice

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Drey, Nov 19, 2006.

  1. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    So last night found out in a rather odd way that a good friend of mine is commiting himself to AA. He made quite the speach to all of us about how he was sick of wasting his life with drinking. We were pretty much all quiet and didnt know what to say. His mom came and picked him up, so hes serious about it.


    You guys have any advice on how to handle this or what to do when Im around him?

    When the whole group of us hangs out there is always alcohol involved. Which it hasnt ever been a huge problem for me to not drink. Im usually the DD that and my CDL is worth alot more then a couple drinks to me. So Im thinkin that at a party Im probably the best help he has.

    Anywho, Id like your guys thoughts, opinions, etc. thanks
     
  2. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    If he feels he has a problem then he does. Respect his decision but explain to him that he should respect yours and the other's choice to have a couple when you want.
     
  3. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    exactly... and if he realizes that its a problem for him, and truly wants to do something about his problem, he'll be able to stay away from it, and probably still hang around with the rest of the group. if you see him going back to his old ways, then let him know what you're seeing.
     
  4. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    You know who your friends are when you're in trouble.....:deal:

    Your friend has a problem that he WANTS to overcome. Your job as his friend is to support him AND his choice to go booze-free. Stay away from booze when he's around. Avoid going to places where booze is on the menu when you're with him. If your circle of friends is too selfish to ease up on things when he's around, they are not the kind of people you should be hanging around with in the first place.

    Think about it this way- you are trading a few beers here and there for your friend's life. It sounds like an easy choice to make, doesn't it?
     
  5. 84k5

    84k5 1/2 ton status

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    I had a family member in AA. I haven't drank in front of her since. Seems ****ed up to me.
     
  6. koldsimer

    koldsimer 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    I can't say much that these guys haven't already told you. Good looking out for your friend though man.
     
  7. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Ask him what he needs from you, as far as support...if you are close friends with him, maybe you can encourage your mutual friends to accept his decision and help him stay sober..not saying everyone else has to quit drinking, but everyone will need to modify their habits and expectations, if everyone wants to stay friends.

    As an aside,this is where you find out if you have real friends, or just drinking buddies.

    Tom
     
  8. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    Yes its a VERY easy choice for me, I just dont know how some of the rest of the group will go with it...My thoughts are he isnt the only one who should be joining AA.

    Anything you can think that I can say to the rest of them CanCan if they dont lighten up when hes around?
     
  9. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    PM sent, my friend........:thumb:
     
  10. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    thanks for all the comments guys I really appreciate it
     
  11. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    You didn't ask me the question, but I wouldn't hesitate to walk my buddy out of a place if the other guys don't lighten up..As far as saying something directly, you'll have a better chance of getting through if you discuss things on on one, rather than waiting for a group situation to occur.. peer pressure can be ugly and when one guy decides to not be cool, that's when feathers get ruffled..


    Tom
     
  12. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    sorry bout that 4by4bygod i started typing right after Cancans first post and i type slow never saw your post until after i made mine, thanks though
     
  13. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Drey just remember one thing since your still a young guy. The whole party/drinking thing will wear off after a while as you get older. Sometimes younger people will think they have a problem but they grow out of it. I used to drink like every night when I was your age, now I'm lucky if I have a six pack on a Friday night here with the Brotherhood every other week.
     
  14. mikey_d05

    mikey_d05 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Well, if it's a phase, he might have overreacted a tad, but it's better safe than sorry. If it's not just a phase, good for him, and do everything you can to help him out if you're serious about it.

    You say your CDL is worth it, he's taking it seriously enough that he thinks his life is worth not drinkin'...give him a hand when you can.
     
  15. MTChevy

    MTChevy 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    im sure canmore gave you great advice... has helped me more than once!
     
  16. Drey

    Drey 3/4 ton status

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    oh ya, cant tell ya how much i appreciated the call thanks Paul
     
  17. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    If he stays the course you and your buddies will to some degree become alienated and he will begin to do as his new friends tell him...AA is a wierd type cult for most people, but whatever works for them is great. It has done wonders for my Daughter but has also given her a "Helpless" mindset.
    Just worry about your actions and how you can still be in his life without booze and you both may learn something.
    I kid too much on the boozing sometimes and for that I pay the price around here. For what it's worth I don't actually sleep with goats either....:p: :wink1:
     
  18. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    Having been through the whole DUI thing. Going to classes and talking about it doesn't make you cured. It's a battle whithin one's self. Keep the mind busy with other hobbies. All in all be there as a friend. I did'nt have that. Atleast you care... Always ask "do you need anything?" :wink1:
     
  19. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    It's not worth much.

    As for the topic on hand, ask him what he needs. If he says he doesn't know, check back with him every now and then. Steer him toward something else to drink, maybe even healthy. :yikes:
     
  20. Ruthven13

    Ruthven13 1/2 ton status

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    My ex-girlfriend is going through that same process. Ever since her man of 6 years suddenly died of an anurism she had become a serious alcoholic. At first it was just to overcome the greif. Then it became so much more. She tried to detox several times and failed. The last straw was when the state took her kids away. She joined AA and has been doing a wonderful job so far, over 90 days sober. What was so hard for her was having to pretty much leave all of her old friends because they drink all the time. The only one she really still associates with it me. I make it a point not to drink around her at all. She says I can, but to me that is not right, and I won;t do it just out of simple respect.
     

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