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New California Work Place Rules

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Jeremy_C, Oct 13, 2004.

  1. Jeremy_C

    Jeremy_C 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    East TN
    THE NEW 2004CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEE
    >> HANDBOOK

    >> BY "ARNOLD
    >>SCHWARZENEGGER"
    >> SICK DAYS

    >> We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
    >>
    >>If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

    >> PERSONAL DAYS
    >>
    >> Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
    >>
    >>Saturday & Sunday.

    >>LUNCH BREAK

    >>Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so

    >>that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for
    >>lunch
    >>
    >>to get balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get
    >>5 minutes
    >>
    >>for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

    >> DRESS CODE
    >>
    >>It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
    >>
    >>If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci
    >>Bag,
    >>
    >>we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do
    >>
    >>not need a raise.

    >>If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
    >>
    >>that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

    >>If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and
    >>
    >>therefore you do not need a raise.

    >> BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

    >>This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for
    >>
    >>dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to
    >>
    >>have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
    >>
    >>employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in
    >>the late
    >>
    >>afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
    >>hour
    >>and
    >>
    >>subsequently leave one hour early.

    >>RESTROOM USE

    >>Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now
    >>
    >>a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
    >>minutes,
    >>
    >>an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
    >>door
    >>
    >>will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your
    >>
    >> picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the
    >> "Chronic
    >>
    >>Offenders "category.

    >>Thank you for your loyalty to our great state. We are here to provide
    >>a
    >>
    >>positive employment experience.

    >> > THE GOVERNATER
    >>
    >>
     
  2. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    No offense but

    I'm amazed how things like this when circulated, get modified and rebadged and completely ranked
     
  3. Jeremy_C

    Jeremy_C 1/2 ton status

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    How can I be offended? I have no idea what your saying. /forums/images/graemlins/screwy.gif
     
  4. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    It's a repost

    Last time it was longer, had more stuff, and didn't have anything to do with CA

    Oh BTW - They give you the 30/15/5 lunch breakdown, and then say you can work through your lunch HOUR?
     
  5. Jeremy_C

    Jeremy_C 1/2 ton status

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    I dont think its real. /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  6. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    I know

    I got a quarter raise today BTW ----- weeeee
     
  7. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    @ least you got a raise! /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     
  8. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    The only raise I got was from the BOTD /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
     

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