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North vs South

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ChevyHuny, Oct 16, 2002.

  1. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    Thought I would share an email joke. My apologies if it has been posted before.

    Subject: North vs South


    A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee, grits, biscuits and jam, when a Northerner, chewing obnoxiously on gum, sits down next to him.

    The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

    Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole slice?"

    Southerner: "Yep."

    Northerner: (After blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."

    The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in silence.

    The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"

    Southerner: "Yep."

    Northerner: (Cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and chuckling) "We don't. Up North, after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and then send it down South."

    Then the Southerner asks, "Y'all have sex up North?"

    Northerner: "Why, of course, we do." And he pops another big bubble.

    Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use'em?

    Northerner: "We throw them away, of course."

    Southerner: "We don't. Down South, we put 'em in a jar, melt 'em into bubble gum, and sell 'em to Yankees.
     
  2. gotmud?

    gotmud? 1/2 ton status

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    knew there was a reason I don't chew gum /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
     
  3. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    lmao. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif too funny. i haven't seen that one. didn't really catch onto it cuss i'm not that smart. kept wonderin why they kept talkin bout the gum. oh well. still funny. later.

    jacob
     
  4. NEOMASTINO2U

    NEOMASTINO2U 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif that is to funny! i am from the south and that just made my day!!!
    kelly
     
  5. 88jimmyoungowner

    88jimmyoungowner 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    georgia-rome
    american by birth..........................
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    southern by the grace of god!!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  6. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
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    southern by the grace of god!!!


    [/ QUOTE ]
    AMEN! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. 90K5

    90K5 1/2 ton status

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    My aunt sent this to me the other day

    Train Travel
    Three Southerners and three Yankees are traveling by
    train to the Super Bowl. At the station, the three Northerners
    each buy a ticket and
    watch as the three Southerners buy just one ticket. "How are the
    three of you going
    to travel on only one ticket?" Asks one of the Yankees. "Watch
    and learn,"
    answers one of the men from the South. They all board the train.
    The three
    Yankee men take their respective seats but all three Southerners
    cram into a toilet
    departed, the conductor
    comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and
    says, "Ticket
    please. "The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges
    with a ticket in
    hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
    The Yankees see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea,
    so after the
    game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save
    some money.
    When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the
    return trip, but see, to
    their astonishment, that the three Southerners don't buy any
    ticket at all. "How are
    you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Yankee.
    Watch and
    learn," answers the men from the South. When they board the train
    the three
    Northerners cram themselves into a toilet and the three
    Southerners cram into
    another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train is on
    its way, one of the
    Southerners leaves their toilet and walks over to the toilet in
    which the Yankees are
    hiding. The Southerner knocks on their door and says, "Ticket
    please."
    (And I'm still trying to figure out how the South lost that war!)
     
  8. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif nuther good one gawd i love these jokes. lol. later.

    jacob
     

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