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Offensive Humor **Politically Incorrect & Foul language**

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by marine_enlisted, Feb 18, 2004.

  1. marine_enlisted

    marine_enlisted 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Stafford, VA
    >> JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE
    >> Q: What is better than winning a medal at the
    >> Special Olympics?
    >> A: Not being retarded
    >> ***********
    >> Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
    >> A: Hypothermia
    >> **************
    >> Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets
    >> out of the battered
    >> wives' shelter?
    >> A: The dishes, if she knows what's [darn] good for
    >> her
    >> ***************
    >> Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
    >> A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
    >> ***************
    >> Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
    >> A: Something a woman does while a guy is [darn]
    >> her.
    >> ****************
    >> Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in
    >> common?
    >> A: They don't [darn] listen.
    >> ***************
    >> Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
    >> A: Gonorrhoea
    >> ****************
    >> Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
    >> A: So women would know what it's like to live with
    >> an irritating **** once
    >> in a while too.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
    >> A. She rolls her own tampons.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
    >> A. Better traction in the mud.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the difference between a woman and a
    >> sheep?
    >> A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her
    >> sister.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael
    >> Jackson?
    >> A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until
    >> he's at least 13 years
    >> old.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    >> A. Marry it.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
    >> A. Your ass kicked.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and
    >> a hooker?
    >> A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
    >> A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're
    >> driving.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
    >>
    >> A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's
    >> throat at thirty miles an
    >> hour.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. Why do women call it PMS?
    >> A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's a mixed feeling?
    >> A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a
    >> cliff in your new car.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the height of conceit?
    >> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the definition of macho?
    >> A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor
    >> party?
    >> A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal
    >> sex?
    >> A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole
    >> weak.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
    >> A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
    >> A. You know she'll swallow.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex
    >> education on the same
    >> day in Iraq?
    >> A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and
    >> a Jewish wife?
    >> A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake
    >> jewelery.
    >> ******************
    >> Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf
    >> ball?
    >> A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
    >> ******************
    >> Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch
    >> know when it is
    >> bedtime?
    >> A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
    >> ******************
    >> Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
    >> clean the house?
    >> A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's
    >> not time.
    >> ******************
    >> Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
    >>
    >> A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals
    >> that kick.
    >> ******************
    >> Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
    >> A. Because it's worth it
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gifThis post should offend someone....... /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/ignore.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. clubba68

    clubba68 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Eugene-Portland, Oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  5. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
     
  6. Blaze

    Blaze 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal
    >> sex?
    >> A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole
    >> weak.
    >> *****************
    >> Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
    >> A. You push it to the side before you start eating.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    These two had me rolling. /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  7. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    Milltown NJ 08850 NJ sucks
    /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif very funny
     
  8. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    OMG /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  9. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  10. rock.monkey

    rock.monkey 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     

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