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office dares:

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by R72K5, Sep 13, 2003.

  1. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    my mom emailed this today, she emails me all kinds of funny stuff, theres some funny ones in this one:D

    ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
    1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
    2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
    3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
    say,
    "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
    4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
    and Grimace.
    5) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
    huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
    6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
    "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
    7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
    8) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
    open.

    THREE-POINT DARES
    1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
    double-barreled fingers.
    2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
    that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
    3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
    4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
    nozzle
    (there must be a 'non-player within sight).
    5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    FIVE POINT DARES
    1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
    conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
    actually launch into it yourself).
    2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
    growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
    3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
    4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
    number two".
    5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
    in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
    6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
    7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
    mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
    8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my
    witness, I'll never go hungry again".
    9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
    (Extra points if it is a male, even more if he is your boss)
    10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
    trade?"
    11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do
    you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
    12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't
    talk
    about it".
    13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
    lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
    14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
    important conference call.
    15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
    16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your
    pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
    17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit,
    smashing
    each biscuit with your fist.
    18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
    door.
    19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
    attendee,
    move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.
    And if that wasn't enough for you...

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

    1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
    hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
    2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
    have to let one of you go."
    3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
    with that.
    4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it IN."
    5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
    over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
    6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
    7) Dont use any punctuation
    8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
    9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
    10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

    11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
    12) Sing along at the opera.
    13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
    14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
    sounds all day.
    15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
    party
    because you're not in the mood.
    16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

    17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time
    this week!!!"
    18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
    yelling,
    Run for your lives, they're loose!"
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
    hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    sounds like the Super Troopers of the office world. That would be me in an office, I would also be the person to go postal though...
     
  6. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    hehehehe yeah that last section is pretty funny huh /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


    heres another funny she mailed:

    -------------------------------------
    WHO has time to think of these things???? Here is a good recipe.

    When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people, like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

    BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

    6-7 lb. chicken

    1 cup melted butter

    1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)

    1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHERS LOW FAT)

    Salt/pepper to taste

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

    Listen for the popping sounds.

    When the chicken's butt blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done.

    And, you thought I couldn't cook. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
     
  7. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    dg
    [ QUOTE ]
    3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Holy crap, I so did that once at the hotel I worked at :O :O

    Yeah, working in a hotel is really boring and certain special people got to carry radios so they could be called upon to do their duty at any moment... and being a bellman I was the guy that kept the place ticking... and everyone had a cool number on the radio instead of a name or whatever... I was 27... 27 to 27, what's your location? I'm about to take the van and go to the post office....

    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif I'm so cool... wish I still worked at Little America /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  8. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

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    THIS IS SERIOUS.

    NEW DISEASE BREAKOUT - B.A.R.S.

    The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning
    about BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified
    problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease,
    identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects
    people of many different ages. Believed to have started in Irelandin
    1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs and
    Taverns or who just congregate. It is not known how the disease is
    transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are
    affected, with thousands of new cases appearing every day.

    Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at
    6:00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most
    keenly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease
    include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual
    attraction/confidence (even towards fuglies), uncalled for laughter,
    uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked arguing.

    In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed,
    and speak incoherently. Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of
    clothing and loss of virginity can also occur. Sometimes death ensues,
    usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't do
    this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??"

    If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you
    quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or
    all the symptoms have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease
    can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday.

    Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property,
    killer headaches and divorce.

    On the up side, there is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure.
     
  9. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    Bored at work today, so me and one of the guys in my office started playing. I'm two points behind right now. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    John
     
  10. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    Waahoooo, with only a couple of minutes to spare, I paged myself and pulled off a one point win /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    John
     
  11. 85army tank

    85army tank 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    ) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
    with that

    [/ QUOTE ] ) i got fired over this one once it should be worth 10 points
     
  12. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    fired over it? did it a few too many times huh?
     

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