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Oil change

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by makovai, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. makovai

    makovai 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    oregon city
    Oil Change

    Oil Change option 1:
    1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since
    the last oil change.
    2) Drink a cup of coffee.
    3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
    maintained vehicle.

    Money spent:
    Oil Change $30.00 (full service)
    Coffee $1.00
    Total $31.00
    ==========================================================

    Oil Change option 2:
    1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
    oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check
    for $50.00.
    2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20,
    drive home.
    3) Open a beer and drink it.
    4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
    5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
    6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
    7) Place drain pan under engine.
    8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
    9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
    10) Unscrew drain plug.
    11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in
    process. Cuss.
    12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
    Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
    13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
    14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
    15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil
    filter and twist off
    16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
    everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
    can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
    17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
    Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage
    door opener.
    18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag
    pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole
    in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
    19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
    20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
    21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
    22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
    gasket surface.
    23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
    24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
    25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
    26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard,
    along with drain plug.
    27) Drink beer
    28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily
    dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily
    patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
    lawnmower gas.
    29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw
    kitty litter on oil spill.
    30) Drink beer.
    31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with
    oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
    tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame .
    32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
    33) Begin cussing fit.
    34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
    35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
    36) Beer.
    37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood
    flow.
    38) Beer.
    39) Beer.
    40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
    41) Beer.
    42) Lower car from jack stands.
    43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
    44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
    during steps 23 - 43.
    45) Beer.
    46) Test drive car.
    47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
    48) Car gets impounded.
    49) Call loving wife, make bail.
    50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

    Money spent:

    Parts $50.00
    DUI $2500.00
    Impound fee $75.00
    Bail $1500.00
    Beer $40.00
    Total - - $4,165.00

    But you know the job was done right!
     
  2. camarossguy2

    camarossguy2 1/2 ton status

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    I know its a old joke, but i wouldn't even let Jify lube look at any of my cars, must less touch them. There have been several reports including hidden camera investigation of them scamming just about every car that come in their shops


    Oh and i think most ppl here can change their oil in under 15 mins anyway :)
     
  3. randy88k5

    randy88k5 1/2 ton status

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    X2. Blazer never goes into shops (anymore), period.... unless I am working on it.

    BTW, repost police will see this in not too long...
     
  4. makovai

    makovai 1/2 ton status

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    I have to admit, i take my daily driver to a oil service without a thought, but my K5 has and will never be touched by a shop.
     
  5. AZ79K5Project

    AZ79K5Project 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Arizona
    x2 -
    Take DD in
    Don't sit in lobby - watch oil drained and filter removed
    Watch refill and which hose is used (its all the same dirty oil drum anyways)
    Tell them not to touch ANYTHING else.

    K5 - It needs an oil change?
     
  6. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    screw the repost police...

    the youdidntpostthisintherightfockingforumthisbelongsinthelounge police are here! :D
     
  7. muddermilitia

    muddermilitia ThatTrazerGuy GMOTM Winner

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    No it doesn't. they put oil in at the factory:haha:
     
  8. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i think its funny.
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i've been there when they screw someone.they were yelling back and forth"draining #1,draining #2" etc.as we sat in my managers car i looked at the dood under the escort they were DRANING everything on and the guy was just leaning agains't the wall smiling.:mad: i wouldn't let them touch my lawn mower.:laugh:
     

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