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OK guys,i need help.turkey day seriously

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by boggerless, Nov 19, 2006.

  1. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you guys know i'm separated from my wife. and i hate her for taking my son from me. i want them back and my wife was telling me she feels bad cuz she likes thanksgiving for the family time(BIG DINNER AND EVERYONE OVER).well the little fam she has left are busy and she feels bad Audric(my son) has no where to go.even her friends that helped clean out my crib have offered and she doesn't want to go.she has asked me three times in three days what i'm doing."i'm gonna strip the next truck".i said all three times.but i will make thanksgiving dinner just so i don't have to cook for a few days.:haha: anyway my little man asked me today if thanksgiving was over...SOB!!!:eek1: should i tell her to come over??and she wants to go to the Christmas light show "AS a family" .in the next week or two.is she holding out the olive branch or just feeling blue?i want my son to enjoy a turkey dinner and watch a game with me BUT????help me guys.
     
  2. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    Extend the hand. Years after, my first ex wife told me if I had tried a little harder, she would have come back to me!!!! At the very least, your son will have one more Thanksgiving with mon AND dad to remember.
     
  3. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Daryl.. have turkey day for audric..bury whatever anger you have, and focus on making it a fun holiday..

    if she starts making noise like she wants her family back, tell her you'd love to, but everyone's going to counseling first.. if she doesn't want to go, go without her.

    Tom
     
  4. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    thats what i thought bro.:D thanks :bow:
     
  5. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    really, what could it hurt?
     
  6. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    its been one my heart Tom.i will do this for my son.man i never thought i would be in this situation.
     
  7. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    I think Mike and Tom said it all. Don't let Audric suffer. Perhaps she will find the errors in her ways......
     
  8. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    exactly.i'll do it.:D
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i really hope Corey.this whole thing is like the TWILIGHT ZONE to me.if she asked for a divorce at least i would know where i stand.but this we'll get back together if,but, etc. is killing me.i need a straight answer.and all i can think of is Audric,what a'm i supposed to tell him when he asks if i can have a sleepover at moms house?he wants me there like we used to be......he told me tonight that mom had a place in her bed and an extra pillow.and that i could use it.if i wanted to.when i say i can't does he think i don't want too???
     
  10. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Having never been in your situation I really cant give advice first hand. I would in a calm matter when the time is right and it's just you and her ask her what it is she wants and that a strait answer would be the courteous thing for her to do so that you can get on with your life one way or the other.
     
  11. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    I'd be a little more careful with the wife there. Don't let her get her way with and around you, especially if everyone is at YOUR place. She doesn't live there anymore and cannot control you on your OWN domain.
    If she starts to put on a show of guilt and wants to work things out, etc., etc., play your cards close to your vest. Don't give in to her or her demands. Play it nice and slow, tell her you would have to seriously think about it and both of you would have to seek serious counseling, together, not separate.
    If she disagrees or gets riled, then you will know where she still stands.

    Good luck and above all, have fun while doing the whole holiday feast for one thing, and one thing only: your son.
     
  12. stockk5

    stockk5 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    dude.. def. have your kid over... set aside all the bs.. i wish my parents did when they were apart... never have had a tday dinner w/ em both there! do iittt
     
  13. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i'm listening bro:thinking:
     
  14. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i told her what i really think last week. she was trying to change the subject.:laugh: and i don't give in bro thats what i'm thinking. she is just as bullheaded as me and i don't want my son getting hurt anymore cuz his parents want to play who can hold their breath longer.
     
  15. stockk5

    stockk5 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    yeah.. i mean im 20 now but i can still always remember when i was a kid of wishing my dad would come over for thanksgiving and have us all hang out as a family, cuz all my cousins would have their whole family there. cept me, always bummed me out he wasnt there just cuz of the divor. they had. Having the whole family together, enjoying a meal and some time is def. what its about.. even with problems.. just enjoy life only here for so long!
     
  16. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    well i asked her just now. and she said she would tell me tommorow.:haha: she then yammered on aboot something.so i think thats a yes.and she said she loved me before she hung up the phone.:thinking: we will see.
     
  17. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i need my wife to read this bro. thank you daryl:D
     
  18. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Tell him straight out how it is, as if he's at your level. Tell him you're trying to figure things out, because you and his mom are two different people, and if you can or can't get along, so on and so on. Do NOT feed him a line of crap, but also do not get frustrated if he asks a difficult question. On this, the best thing you can do is to treat him as an equal. He'll be there for you too.

    But then, I'm not a professional, in any stretch of the imagination. But it's what my dad did with me, and it helped knowing that he wasn't sure either, and that I knew he was actually (for once) being honest with me. I was 11 or 12.
     
  19. dale_gribble

    dale_gribble Registered Member

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    This hits close to home... My wife and I went through a separation before we had kids and it was a very awkward and painful process reconnecting. I didn't know what the hell I wanted and forced her out the door after only 1.5 years of marriage to pursue 'greener' pastures. Little did I know that truly good women ARE VERY hard to find. They are. A woman that is genuinely a good person, a good friend/lover/mother, reliable, trustworthy, attractive, and has no addictions or heavy baggage is a keeper. If your wife has these qualities, she is in the minority bro and worth more work. I see friends/neighbors who have to put up with some of the sh!t that their wives dish out and I just smile and thank God.

    It only took me about 3 months to realize I made a mistake. She was living about 200 miles away at the time and was starting to give up on me and move on with her life. I knew I loved her and my play clock was showing 00:01. I swallowed my pride one day, just jumped in my car, drove out to her dads house and told her to pack up her stuff and to move back in with me.

    We had an awkward few months- different rooms, counseling, etc., but slowly reconnected and this time beyond a shadow of a doubt I knew it was gonna work. 6.5 years later, 2 kids and a third on the way and I couldn't be happier.

    It still is a painful part of our relationship that we don't talk about but we made it through...

    Now about the kid-

    Kid is #1 #1 #1 #1... Your differences mean nothing to the well being and happiness of the child. That son is everything. ONE good memory for him is worth ANY and all discomfort for his dad and his mom. You are his hero dude. These are the holidays. All differences should be set aside for his sake. On Thanksgiving, it is about your son and son alone. If she wants to talk or if you want to talk about the relationship, it will just have to wait until Friday. Just smile and tell her you are more then willing to talk about it 'tomorrow'. Supress the feelings, eat some good food, watch the game and tell your son what the safety does!!!

    I am glad you extended the invitation. Good for you man!!!
     
  20. BulldogK5

    BulldogK5 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Can't say from firsthand experience but it is about Audric. I have a friend going through a separation right now that will lead to a divorce due to lack of communication. My wife and his still talk as do he and I. His wife has told mine several times she just wants him to make some changes in attitude and try a little and she would take him back. He just does not comprehend the large picture and focuses on the little things he has done. Anyway, make it about the family and be thankful for that.
     

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