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Omg Wtf Rj! The Police Is Afters Me!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Resurrection_Joe, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Holy **** and a ****

    As I have mentioned my boss is in Vegas and I am in charge of the cafe at night, 2PM on.

    Well, what do you know, second day in here comes....

    DER HEALTH INSPECTORRRRRRRR

    Yeah...... wierd guy

    So we got a score somewhere between "Ok" and "Hey clean that up!"

    Nothing major, needed different orginization in the cooler, need to retile the floor, need to fix the vent hood so we d0n+ c@+t(h On T3H f1r3Z! LOLZ!

    Also, one of teh evil morning crew waitresses badmouths my boss so I go up and say "QUIT BEING BACKHANDED!" I suppose she must play tennis. Eh. She replies with an ever so witty "YOU QUIT BEING BACKHANDED! I TELL IT LIKE IT IS TO THE FACE! YOU NEED TO DO MORE WHEN YOU'RE HERE!" I showed her, as you shall soon know.

    ANYWAY

    Slow night, two great people working with me, plus my bro Stun, pluss a short shift waitress with a tight ass of doom.

    So I deliver Stun's condoms and off we go. STRAWBERRY!

    Blah blah normal workday

    One waitress chases me with the densest muscleiest ass known to man and assaults me with it, and tries to grab my junk, the cuter one that's in my crew locks me in the cooler a few times, and Stun fries wierd crap on the grill. The other waitress, sister to the cute one, is doing great, she's new, but doing great. Blah blah. More ass assault. BBQ ribs for everyone. Zuber 9 fingers shows up for some fun.

    Everyone clocks out at 9:15

    I clock out at 12:00PM, was there untill 1:30 in der AM

    OMG WTF!?

    I dunno if it's the responsibility I was given, my work ethic, or just a nice big **** YOU to the older morning crew, but I cleaned that place out like Can Can in a southbound thread.

    - Scraped, swept, mopped cooler floor. UCKY. Found a very old onion. Drank lots of beers. Picked up spilled 'tatos. Organized my cucumber collection. Put lids on all the containers. SARAN WRAP IS NOT A LID! IT IS A JOKE!

    - Reorganized the bread thingy. I put a note on it that siad "THIS IS FOR BREAD, FROM, THE BREDD COMMITEE. LOL MISSPELLING! (THIS IS FOR BREAD)

    - Swept and mopped the kicthen. Didn't fall down. Threw water all over hell and back. Was awesome. Blew bubbles. No, bubbles is not a guy, or animal, or any sentient thing that is blowable. No statues or love dolls either.

    - Swept, mopped, rocked, the back storage. I spilled like, 40 souffle cups. That sucked. Listened to Killswitch Engage REALLY LOUD! RAWKED!

    - Reorganized the meat in the cooler. There's a lot of meat in there. MEAT!

    - Cut down like, ninety boxes, literally, sucked. Got to use my box cutter, rocked. Got to throw giant box full fo dense cardboard at DUMPSTER CAT, awesome.

    - Uhmm, mopped the walls. Yes, the walls. I am just that ****ing awesome.

    - Cleaned the slicer. Apparently, I am the only one who does, because I needed to hammer it apart. Lubed up the shafts, HAR HAR.

    - Cleaned the ice machine. Ice is very dirty, apparently.

    - Fixed the scoop situation. The scoop situation was bad. I made it good.

    ANYWAY

    Cop stopped in at 10:00, 11:30, and 1:30. "OMG WTF, LIGHTS ON!" and I replied "LOL YA RLY! MOPPING! CLEANING! RAWKING!" He's persistant and bored.

    He's really short too.

    Hmmmm, yeah, so overall the moral is:

    "There is nothing quite comperable to the simple pride in a job well done"

    Yeahhhhhh

    Evil Day Crew is gonna find SOMETHING to bitch about. I left them a note to help them along -

    "OwN3D! LOLZ! RJ - 1:30AM!"

    Man, I'm using leetspeak a lot

    So if they ask why I was there so late working, I made up a lot of amusing answers:

    "Hired a ninja crew to clean, I watched"

    "I decided to use a reallly roundabout way of washing my boots"

    "I was in the bathrooms screwing the waitresses"

    "I got really drunk and apparently I am an industrious drunk"

    "To set an example, you ****s"

    "There was a ghost, and we had a cleaning race, I won, he owes me one possession"

    "I got carried away thinking about boobies and apparently when I idle, I work"

    Anyway

    Yeah, so, I'm pretty proud of myself.

    Tired.....
     
  2. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

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    i cant think of anything to say... so....

    L0lZ!!1!1!

    :haha:
     
  3. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    I.... am Iron Man
     
  4. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Roll with the boobies answer. If they persist, throw the rest of them out there, and walk away.
     
  5. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    Funny story RJ! :D
     
  6. jekquistk5

    jekquistk5 Weld nekid Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    I too went on a cleaning spree last night, but only b/c the g/f has lots of homework lately and hasn't been dong her job:deal: :deal:
     
  7. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    i hatred clensing
     
  8. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    Dang I can't believe I wasted my life reading that shiz, ma...

    You have a fun time at work... I clocked in at 2:54pm sharp, out at 11pm, no later... Between then I finished my english paper, dicked around on myspace, made fun of old people, ran around outside without a coat and threw snowballs at the building because all the other people working said it was SOOOO cold at 1 degree and decided we needed to kick the heat up to about 500... Then I went home.
     
  9. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Har har, I outrank you, I am teh manager!
     

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