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ONE LINERS FOR THE STRESSED AND IRRITATED

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big pappa b, Oct 12, 2003.

  1. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    1."Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
    2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"
    3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
    4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
    5. "Well aren't we a Bloody ray of sunshine?"
    6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
    7. "Do I look like a [darn] people's person!?"
    8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
    9. "I started out with nothing & still have most of it left"
    10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"
    11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"
    12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"
    13. "Practise random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"
    14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"
    15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"
    16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
    17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
    18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"
    19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
    20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
    21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't gone to sleep yet"
    22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
    23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
    24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
    25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
    26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."
    27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
    28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
    29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."
    30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
    31. "You look like [darn]. Is that the style now?"
    32. "Earth is full. Go home."
    33. "Aw, did I step on your poor itty bitty ego?"
    34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
    35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
     
  2. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

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    #1 and #14 are the best
    /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. 84CUCV

    84CUCV 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    Location:
    NJ for now
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

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    Good stuff !
     
  6. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    omg *STARTS PRINTING 50 COPIES* /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. Seventy4Blazer

    Seventy4Blazer 3/4 ton status

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    Escondido, CA
    [ QUOTE ]
    27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

    [/ QUOTE ]

    let me fix this one....

    27. "Not all <font color="red"> women </font> are annoying. Some are dead."
     
  8. big pappa b

    big pappa b 3/4 ton status

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    Yeah, I'm partial to #1 myself
     
  9. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. Ddragggon

    Ddragggon 1/2 ton status

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    although somewhat amusing, they sound too contrived to have the full effect of causing jaws to drop on a widespread scale. kinda like my brother's annoying friend Mike who'd say things like `go get a spoon, then eat my ass' and other great winners...
     

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