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Operation removes lightbulb from anus!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by dontoe, Jun 30, 2006.

  1. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Thu Jun 29, 7:34 AM ET


    MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

    Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
    "Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.
    "We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."
    Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
    "When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.
    "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."
    The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
    :rolleyes: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  2. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    I call bullsh*t on old Mohammad. No way someone "snuck" a lightbulb up his arse.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    No,thats just what happens when Muslims get ideas...:haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. Roz

    Roz 1/2 ton status

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    ROFLMAO:haha: :haha:
     
  5. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    That's goddamn hilarious Fumes! :haha::haha::haha:
     
  6. readymix

    readymix 3/4 ton status

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    Here is a true story from when I was stationed in Great Lakes. No names to protect the blatently stupid. Greatly summarized.

    • ET "A" School student
    • Married
    • Wife "knows" about this behavior.....??
    • Student was on duty so he had to stay in the barracks that night.
    • About 1900, Student reports to BDO (Barracks Duty Officer) needs to talk to Chief one on one.
    • Chief takes Student into ofice to find out what is wrong
    • Student eludes to the fact that he is in dire need of medical attention......then passes out
    • When student hits the deck, lots of blood starts to seep through his pants....."back there...??"
    • Student comes to and tells the following story.
    1. I was in my room, with an Arizona Iced Tea, and after I finished it i stuck it where the sun don't shine.
    2. Then, of course it broke...............:eek1:
    3. So I went out to my car to get some rags.
    4. Once I made it back up to my room, I sat on the toilet for a while "pushing" out the shards of broken glass.
    5. That didn't really help so I stuffed these rags in there.
    6. My wife knows about it, we do it all the time...............
    7. Please get me to the hospital.
    Anyway the kid is doing fine now, physically. I have no idea as to his mental state though. He was immediatly transferred though, following his hospital stay.

    Guess who was on duty that night.............Me and my buddy. The 2 Chiefs.:o

    Next time you are in the gas station, take a look at an Arizona Iced Tea bottle and try to figure out his motivation for this. I sure the hell can't.
     
  7. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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  8. readymix

    readymix 3/4 ton status

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    It was actually worse than what I wrote, but it still sickens me to think about it.
     
  9. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    One word:


    Navy.
     
  10. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Sick.

    Back when I was stationed at the late, great MCAS Tustin, we had a real, no-s**t case of "The Ether Bunny" in one of the barracks one night. Of course, I was the Duty NCO for my squadron's deck in the same barracks. Thankfully, the involved parties weren't in my squadron or on my deck.
    One Marine comes to around 3AM or so... to find his nether regions being violated by another Marine... from his own shop. Starts screaming & flailing about, causing a huge ruckus and attracting all kinds of attention. Within 5 minutes, what seemed like every Marine Corps MP on the entire West Coast was prowling the whole barracks, banging on doors and demanding statements from still-drunk nightcrew guys who'd just gone to bed, and bleary-eyed daycrew guys who were trying to enjoy that last quiet hour or so of sleep before yet-another 12hr workday kicked off. The two yahoos were cuffed & stuffed. A can of ether (starting fluid) was carried out of the room in a clear plastic bag with the big orange EVIDENCE label on it, along with a red shop rag in a similar bag. Everyone gets to open all their s**t so the MP's can look for more ether (or anything else they see that might be against the barracks orders.
    My duty turnover (24-hour duty, sleep not permitted) that was supposed to happen at 0800 sharp... didn't take place until almost NOON. Then I had to try to explain to my Sergeant Major "...what the f**k went on in the barracks last night?".

    No one saw or heard from either of the Marines involved ever again. I have no clue what happened to them. Rumor has it they were given administrative separations from HQMC by 2PM, and were on buses to their home-of-record by 6PM.
     
  11. divorced

    divorced 3/4 ton status

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    I can't say I dislike their judicial system.
     
  12. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    I think that they have the right idea in some respects. Reading the rest of this, I have no idea what people are thinking. Maybe that's best....
     
  13. BoondocK5

    BoondocK5 1 ton status Author

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    All I have to say is, if it's breakable, it should not be placed "There".:rolleyes:
     
  14. broc944

    broc944 1/2 ton status

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    Personally, even nonbreakable things are not to be placed in my "there".
     
  15. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    x 10000000000000
     
  16. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Well, another Muslim that thinks the sun shines out of his ass...........:D
     

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