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Oregon Barbies

Discussion in 'Pacific Region' started by mudhog, Jan 26, 2004.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of Models of Limited
    Edition
    > > Barbie Dolls for the Oregon Market:
    > >
    > > Beaverton Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstroms. She
    > comes
    > > with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a
    cookie
    > > cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic
    Ken.
    > >
    > > West Linn Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the
    Lexus
    > > SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time
    > > occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
    > > separately. Optional matching gym outfit. Often Mormon or Catholic.
    > >
    > > Estacada Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun,
    a
    > > Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted
    > > windows and a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.
    > >
    > > Alameda Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car
    > or
    > > a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.
    > >
    > > Oregon City Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two
    > sizes
    > > too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a
    Hank
    > > Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass
    > > when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper
    > > stickers.
    > >
    > > Pearl District Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie still
    > has
    > > not learned that you can't wear a leopard print ski outfit without
    looking
    > > passe, even if you are actually skiing.
    > >
    > > PSU Barbie: This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long
    > gray
    > > hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt.
    > The
    > > other version has frizzy hair, a dingy white tanktop, low cut jeans and
    > > scratch-n-sniff armpits.
    > >
    > > Gresham Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not
    > > learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no
    > > pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your
    > > beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark
    red
    > > lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at
    all.
    > > Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored
    > > G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there
    > > see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and
    BIG.
    > > Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, rusty old Ford
    pick
    > > up.
    > >
    > > Northeast Portland Barbie: They are working on her, but she keeps
    getting
    > > shot.
    > >
    > > Lake Oswego Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in Saks Fifth
    > Avenue.
    > > She drives her Land Rover (sold separately) to the Lake Oswego Public
    > > Library. She has an MBA from Stanford but has never worked outside the
    > home.
    > > Her child stroller is bigger than your house and her tennis trophies are
    > > discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf trophies. She knows enough
    Spanish
    > > to talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to the cook; and Chinese,
    > > Vietnamese and Korean, to talk with the gardener, house painter, and
    > > housekeeper respectively. She is a lifelong member of the Junior League
    > and
    > > her Black Butte home is featured in Architectural Digest. Her family
    owns
    > a
    > > winery in Napa, but she buys cases of "2-Buck Chuck" at Trader Joe's.
    > Hence
    > > the need for the rear-loading Land Rover. Her dirty little secret??
    She's
    > a
    > > closet Democrat
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. Silver84k5

    Silver84k5 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Hillsboro Oregon
    wheres the hillsboro barbie.
     
  4. IGOR

    IGOR 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    Location:
    Damascus, OR
    Intel laid her off... /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. T-ROY

    T-ROY 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Orchards, Wa
    She's now serving burritos at Taco Bell
     
  6. Silverado_K5

    Silverado_K5 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Weston, Oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gifThat's a good one /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. chubbybob

    chubbybob 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    wheres the hillsboro barbie.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    you mean hillsburrito
     
  8. clubba68

    clubba68 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Eugene-Portland, Oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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