hello my fellow brothers. i apoligize for my absence. i was not feeling well at all last thursday. and I ended up in the emergency room thursday mid morning. after running a few test. they loaded me up with morphine and sent me on my way..said they did not know what was wrong. well after being loaded up with pain meds. i couldn't drive or walk so i slept in my truck in the hospital parking lot. i woke up friday feeling even worse. so i stumbled back into the hospital emergency room. and they ended up doing a head x-ray and a spinal tap. Unfourtunatlly there was quite a bit of blood in my spinal fluid..for those that don't know, your spinal fluid should be clear like water.. turns out that i'm bleeding from the ol brain. they did some more test, and well i am really upset..they have told me that there is nothing more that they can do at this time for me. except to perscribe me some heavy duty pain pills to "ease my suffering" my ex is up from the bay area, and amazingly enough has been with me quite a bit. its very hard for her to see me like this. and i thank her so much. she has been feeding me, bathing me, dressing me, and trying to help me take care of my last minute details. today i am out of the hospital, and i'm doped up pretty good..and to be honest the pain pills are not helping me all that much. it is taking every bit of energy and will power that i have to sit here and type this out. but i feel that i owe it to you guys, you have been there for me and have helped me so much. so i don't know what else to say right now. the ex and i have been crying all weekend, i just want to say once again..thank you..