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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ratzila, Oct 3, 2005.

  1. ratzila

    ratzila 1/2 ton status

    Aug 9, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Dear Husband:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
    I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
    for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
    me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
    week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
    nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
    negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
    sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
    you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
    love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

    P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
    away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    Your EX-Wife

    Dear Ex-Wife

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
    you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
    far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
    out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
    you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
    mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
    anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
    meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
    stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had
    on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed
    that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
    dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of
    this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
    discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my
    job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were
    gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
    filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
    you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
    Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

    Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
  2. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 17, 2004
    Likes Received:
    High velocity, Low altitude
    I would never be so lucky. :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Feb 24, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
  4. K5Steve

    K5Steve 1/2 ton status

    Aug 10, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Carson city, nv.
  5. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

    May 7, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Hickory, N.C.
    That's good!!! :bow: :bow: :haha: :haha: :haha:

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