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Peace on Earth, Good Will toward Man, Everyone at the Mall Must DIE!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 350350, Dec 14, 2003.

  1. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif I'm a bit crazy, generally antisocial, and I HATE shopping. Circumstances beyond my control forced me to take the Boy to the mall today...

    /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif Exactly 7.6 Gazillion people were there for no other reason than to piss ME off!!!

    I kept my temper under control since the boy was with me, but I had a rough time with it. Here are only a few of the situations that I walked away from without ripping anyone's intestines out through his/her left ear. /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif 300 parents in line in front of the Boy and I to see Santa. 278 of them insisted on forcing their kids to sit on Santa's lap and smile in spite of the fact that the children were terrified/screaming/crying. After all, your Christmas Card picture is far more important than your children's psychological well-being. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif I sat on Santa's lap myself first to show the Boy it was safe, but he chose to go no further than to stand next to Santa and talk. Smart Boy in my book. If he isn't comfortable with the situation, I WANT him to tell me so. Got a nice picture anyway. Might post it if I can find it.

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif 478,088 people just milling about in the middle of the mall hindering anyone with purpose from meeting his/her goals. I wanted a brush guard on the front of the stroller so I could just run through the crowd, V-Plowing idiots left and right!!!

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif The Boy accidentally bumped into a guy at Wal-Mart, and the guy said, "Watch it Kid" angrily, and acted like he might be moving towards the Boy. Then he saw me approaching (I was only 10 feet away, and the Boy is only 3, so the dude should have assumed a parent was nearby...) and the dude did a fast about-face and disappeared. WTF???

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif I'm trying to back the K5 out of a parking space in the mall, and the Crewcab Dually with Topper parked next to me was blocking my view of oncoming traffic. I eased out barely moving at all, and just before I could see traffic, a young woman came bolting past the rear of the K5 pushing a baby in a stroller. SHE nearly ran into my barely-moving vehicle, and had the nerve to flip me off as she went by and I came to a complete stop. Again, getting to her car 3 seconds faster was far more important than her child's safety. It should have been obvious to her that I couldn't have seen her through the Dually.

    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif And so on and so on, etc.

    /forums/images/graemlins/usaflag.gif Luckily, on the way home, the Boy and I found a parking lot somewhat isolated which had been half-plowed. One end had big piles of snow to ram through in the K5, and the other end of the lot had virgin snow to do donuts in!!! The Boy is 3, and with no airbags in the '77, he rides 'Shotgun' in his carseat next to me in the K5. I kid you not, his exact words were, "You ROCK, Dad!!!" This made the whole trip worth it. And got a good pic with Santa to boot!

    Here's the Boy (3 Years Old) and Baby Girl (3 Months Old) with a very cool Mall-Santa. Real beard, hair, and jelly belly. It was Sunday evening and he must have talked to 10,000 kids by the time we got there. He managed to get the Boy to warm up a bit, and had a Smile and somewhat believeable 'HoHoHo' for us. Much better social skills than mine, as you can see!!! /forums/images/graemlins/thinking.gif

    [​IMG]
     
  2. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    other than the kids you sound way to much like me! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    I hate the mall, the only reason for going is straight in the sears tool door and straight back out! /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif

    Sometimes when I'm with a buddy from college we cruise the mall for chicks but we know they have to be illegal for us but its still fun to look /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
     
  3. 4GUNZ4X4Z

    4GUNZ4X4Z 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif478,088 people just milling about in the middle of the mall hindering anyone with purpose from meeting his/her goals. I wanted a brush guard on the front of the stroller so I could just run through the crowd, V-Plowing idiots left and right!!!


    [/ QUOTE ]

    I know the feeling. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
    Nice pic of the kiddo's.
     
  4. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    thing i hate about going to the mall is that for some ungodly reason, people think the best place to stop and bullchit with their friends for a while is DIRECTLY in the center of the circulation paths. how 'bout pulling the faawk over to the curb so I can get by ur dumb azz?!?!? /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif

    j
     
  5. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    I feel your pain. All the "Sheeple" were out yesterday, milling around with the blank stares and not a clue. Don't get me wrong, I like the Sooners and all, but if I see one more idiot in the OU hat, jacket, sweatshirt combo (men and women alike) I may have to kill. About 1/3 of all the people out yesterday felt they needed to let everyone know they were Sooners fans. Well no [darn] Dick Tracy, you live 15 miles from the University.

    John
     
  6. RingMaster4x4

    RingMaster4x4 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    I hear you loud and clear on the rude people. I was in the wal-mart parking lot and I had a lady hit the drivers side rear quarter of my Chevelle that I have only had for two months. /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif The reason she was just trying to squeeze behind me to get down the isle to get a parking "good" space. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif /forums/images/graemlins/angryfire.gif Sorry if I hi-jack your post just thought I would share.
     
  7. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    Parking Lots and Christmas don't mix well...

    Normally, I can't stand the way people drive in parking lots. It seems like they lose all thier driving skills once they enter a parking lot. They go too fast, drive on the left side of the lane, don't stop at stop signs and generaly just turn into complete idiots once they are in the parking lot. But add Christmas into the equation and all hell breaks loose! And they do this crap in front of thier kids! What does that teach them? It teaches them that when they grow up, they should be even BIGGER idiots than thier parents were. And on and on the cycle goes. Big idiots breeding even BIGGER idiots.

    I think Paul has the right idea with doing your shopping on line. That way the only idiot you have to deal with is the one sitting at the keyboard. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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