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pet diaries

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Stomper, Jul 17, 2003.

  1. Stomper

    Stomper ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ GMOTM Winner

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    EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!
    6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
    6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

    Day 183

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
    dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
    thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction
    I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my
    captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
    succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
    disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
    vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make
    them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
    hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
    was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
    solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
    the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
    power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
    advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
    dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
    obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
    informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
    every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
    assured.

    But I can wait, It is only a matter of time...
     
  2. MTBLAZER89

    MTBLAZER89 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gifFawkin Cats /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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  4. cybrfire

    cybrfire 1 ton status Vendor GMOTM Winner

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    aint that the truth of it!
     
  5. noJeepshere

    noJeepshere I Drive Trains! Premium Member

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    Wow, you really dug for that one:haha: Good stuff.
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Sometimes I just like to hit the "Page 1, 2, 3,... 501, or 1000" link at the top of the forum. :D
     
  7. blazinzuk

    blazinzuk Buzzbox voodoo Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    LOL thats a good one,

    Well worth being brought up

    You know what they say, Dogs have owners, cats have staff
     
  8. AJMBLAZER

    AJMBLAZER Better to be lucky than good. Premium Member

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    I thought it was, "Dogs have owners, cats are spawn of Satan"?
     
  9. blazinzuk

    blazinzuk Buzzbox voodoo Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    either or :dunno:
     

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