Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. You are never quite sure whether it is OK to eat green crisps. Everyone who grew up in the 1980s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. Reading when you are drunk is horrible. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. You are never quite sure whether it is against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. You never know where to look when eating a banana. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into their school. The most embarrassing thing you could do as a schoolchild was to call your teacher mum or dad. The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first opportunity. Some days you see lots of people on crutches. Every bloke has at some stage whilst taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. Old women with mobile phones look wrong. It is impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. You never ever run out of salt. Old women can eat more than you think. You cannot respect a man who carries a dog. There is no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you have your hand or head stuck in something. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. Despite constant warnings, you have never met anybody who has had their Arm broken by a swan. The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. People who do not drive slam car doors too hard. You know you have turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. Bricks are horrible to carry. In every plate of chips, there is a bad chip.