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Po-po quotes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Oct 5, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    > Police quotes:
    "The handcuffs are tight because they're new.
    They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

    "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
    will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

    "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

    "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

    "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

    "Just how big were those two beers?

    "In God we trust, all others are suspects."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




    Caught for speeding
    The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
    "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Stuck under a bridge
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
    backed up for miles.
    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Dealing with trouble
    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.
    The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Mohammed Ali too.
    Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."
    The giant nodded.
    "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"
    Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.
    "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.
    "Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again.
    "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
    "In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I'm going to a lecture........
    The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
    "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
    "I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
    "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
    "My wife." said the man
     
  2. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    to funny now go fix the walmart one /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    I tried to, can't find the pic now. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  5. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    no your just trying to **** with us /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
     
  6. rebelk5frk

    rebelk5frk 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Stuck under a bridge
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
    backed up for miles.
    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This had me /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif for a while
     
  7. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    [/ QUOTE ]

    That's the truth..LOL! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

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    and how would u know this huh huh huh? ok i'm bored. lol. later.

    jacob
     

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