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Political correctness!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by southernspeed, Mar 11, 2005.

  1. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Writen in English (mine!) so use your imagination!!:grin:

    FINDING IT HARD TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT? ...NOT ANYMORE!!!! HOW TO SPEAK
    ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.
    2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    3. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
    4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
    5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
    6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
    7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
    8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
    9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
    10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
    11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
    12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
    1.He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.
    2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
    3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
    4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
    5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.
    6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
    7. He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE HOLE - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL
    INVERSION.
    8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
    9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
    10. He is not a WANKER - He is an OWNER OPERATOR!!!
     
  2. mtn. burb

    mtn. burb 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha:

    I was going to quote a few...but they're all hilarious!

    Say hello to the Queen for me.:D
     
  3. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Will do tally hoe!:grin:
    Actually the only queens I get to see are some really scary 'women' around Soho!!!:blush: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :rotfl:
     
  5. southernspeed

    southernspeed 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Ain't that the truth though!!! I dance a bit LESS 'caucasion' when I've had a few beers though! I call it dancing....my wife calls it 'staggering about!':grin:
     
  6. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Quite clever 'ol chap! :cool:
     
  7. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

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    Jolly Good.
     
  8. k5redneck

    k5redneck 1/2 ton status

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    funny, very funny:D
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: too funny.
     
  10. OrangeCrushK10

    OrangeCrushK10 1/2 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha:

    Oh, I love the British! You guys make me laugh so much. If I'm ever feeling sad all I have to do is watch some british comedy. Makes my day so much better.

    By the way, everybody here should go out and buy "Shawn of the Dead". It's absolutely hilarious.
     
  11. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Slightly modified

    “Yeah, England. You know. Fish, chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary ****ing Poppins, England!”
     
  12. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    Benny Hill rules!!!
     
  13. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    What is that from?
     
  14. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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