Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Probably has been posted before...but here it is again!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Dec 21, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2001
    Posts:
    32,076
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    .
    What's the best form of birth control after 50?

    Nudity

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

    45 lbs.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

    45 minutes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

    Through his chest with a sharp knife.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
    good looking?

    Because those men already have boyfriends.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What do you call a smart blonde?

    A golden retriever.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why does the bride always wear white?

    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and

    refrigerator.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
    biggest boobs?

    The blonde, because she's 18

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

    Ask your mom.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    How do you know when you're really ugly?

    Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?

    When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, what do single guys have?

    Palm Sunday.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?

    Her navel.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

    Bingo machine.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why did God create alcohol?

    So ugly people could have sex, too.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

    "Are you sure it's mine?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

    Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

    Mace will do that to you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?

    They named him Sum Ting Wong.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

    A speech impediment.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Breasts don't have eyes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

    A pimp.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?

    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

    A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along
    with a recipe.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the Cuban National Anthem?

    Row, row, row your boat.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern
    fairytale?

    A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins
    "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [censored]."
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

    A pimp.

    [/ QUOTE ] BUBBA.....
     
  3. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2001
    Posts:
    32,076
    Likes Received:
    55
    Location:
    .
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif True dat!!! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  4. fourwheelerjeff

    fourwheelerjeff 1/2 ton status Staff Member Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2001
    Posts:
    3,419
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    meadow, tx; in the boonies
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

    A pimp.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    BUBBA.....

    [/ QUOTE ]


    bubbaaaaa, bubaaaaaa /forums/images/graemlins/pimp1.gif/forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/pimp1.gif
     
  5. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. ChevyDrivnRdneck

    ChevyDrivnRdneck 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2002
    Posts:
    714
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Modesto, Ca
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


    [/ QUOTE ]




    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
    Posts:
    3,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Clearfield Ut.
    "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [censored]."
     
  8. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2002
    Posts:
    5,653
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pocatello, ID
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

Share This Page