Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

question?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by nc87k5, Oct 24, 2005.

  1. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2003
    Posts:
    5,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    so, I was feeling bad today because a friend's dad passed away and he commented on how we hadn't talked any for awhile.

    do you intiate keeping in touch or does your friends share the responsibility?

    just wanted your thoughts on it.
     
  2. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2003
    Posts:
    3,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    With My Tinfoil Hat
    Some friends I see on a weekly basis, so they're always calling, and others who I see less often, it's about 50/50 as to who initiates contact.

    I've been blessed with all my friends in that if I don't talk to them for a while, we pick up right where we left off, so there's no hard feelings if the phone doesn't ring.

    Personally, I work at maintaining my friendships, so I'm always calling or emailing someone, just to see how they are.

    Tom
     
  3. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2003
    Posts:
    5,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    yea, there's never any hard feelings but it seems they always want me to initiate the contact when I feel it's a two way street. I always feel that, why should I always be the one to find them and get in touch?
     
  4. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2003
    Posts:
    5,354
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    **PLUMBING THE WORLD**
    Mabey he feels like crap right now and wants to be left alone for a while?

    Also, being a buddy to someone is a 2 way strret , by all means, but , people with familys, work, etc its just so hard to even get a minute over here, withought dealing with poopie diapers :haha:
     
  5. txfiremank5

    txfiremank5 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2004
    Posts:
    3,105
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX.
    I ALWAYS end being the one who keeps in touch. There is only one exception, a friend who I went though middle/high school with. He and I agreed to call once a week after we had lost touch for a few years. If I forget, he calls & vise versa. Everyone else never bothers. Sometimes I just stop calling, since it's a one sided deal. I have slowly let old friends slip away. Sad but true.. you can't always be the one who makes the effort.. it should go both ways. That's at least how I feel about it. I guess people move on, .. but you would think it would be easy enough to pick up a phone every once in a while and just call to say hi. I figure if they can't do that.. I must not be high enough on thier priority list... so they drop to the bottom of mine as well.

    As for your friend, I'd be sure to cut him some slack for a while. It's hard to lose a parent, and there will be moments/days .. when he won't feel like being the most social person around. But over time, if you both try, it can be pretty easy stay in touch. But with life being as busy as it is, it often takes a little effort.
     
  6. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2003
    Posts:
    7,198
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC
    I'm usually the one to call my friends. But that's just because they're assholes.

    Except for k20. He's a stalker.
     
  7. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Posts:
    14,681
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    High velocity, Low altitude
    About 50/50, but never any hard feelings.
     
  8. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2003
    Posts:
    3,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    With My Tinfoil Hat
    I really don't think any relationship is ever a 50 / 50 deal. I think people get themselves disappointed when the focus is on how things " should be " rather than how they are, when dealing with other people.

    Insisting on a constant 50 / 50 deal has killed a lot of friendships and marriages.

    Circumstances and emotions dictate a lot of things.. sometimes I do all the work in a relationship. Other times, my people work harder than they should to find my sorry butt.

    I just make it a point to extend effort, grace, and mercy towards everyone in my circle. I treat everyone like water, in that I let them seek their own level, and I let them be who they are. I make allowances for circumstances, emotional damage, etc..

    What's cool is that I get this treatment right back, and I've got a group of friends that will go thru a wall for me, if I need it.

    Anyway, I'm a believer in sowing and reaping. What you put into a relationship, you get out. If the other person is incapable of giving back to you, be responsible and teach them how. If they want nothing to do with you for whatever reason, then move on.

    Tom
     
  9. nc87k5

    nc87k5 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2003
    Posts:
    5,231
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Carolina
    :haha: :haha:


    4by4 - that's some of the best advice I've heard yet on friendships. thx.
     
  10. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Posts:
    5,068
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mineral Springs, NC

    Bwhahahahahahahhaah, remember that night I found you that pic of ........... nevermind, doesnt need to be public knowledge:whistle:


    O yeh and as for friends, I dont have any so oh well.
     
  11. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2003
    Posts:
    7,198
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC
    Yea, that was creepy.
     
  12. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Posts:
    5,068
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mineral Springs, NC
    bwhahahaha
     

Share This Page