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Redneck Humor

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jan 21, 2003.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    > >>> An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says
    > >>> to
    > >> the
    > >>> driver, "Got any ID?"
    > >>> The driver says, "'Bout what?"
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is
    > >>> carrying a
    > >>> sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th'
    > >>> bag?"
    > >>> "Jes' some chickens."
    > >>> "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
    > >>> "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK.
    > >>> Ummmmm...five?"
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> An Alabamian came home and found his
    > >>> house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department
    > >>> and
    > >>> shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
    > >>> "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
    > >>> "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
    > >>> more?
    > >>> Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The
    > >>> 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
    > >>> "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
    > >>> Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
    > >>> " The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
    > >>> After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak
    > >>> Street
    > >> and
    > >>> you pick her up there?"
    > >>>
    > >>> ****
    > >>> Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
    > >>> They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
    > >>> Documentaries
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> Where was the toothbrush invented?
    > >>> Arkansas.
    > >>> If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
    > > teethbrush.
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner
    > > gets
    > >>> $3 a year for a million years.
    > >>>
    > >>> *******
    > >>> A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple
    > > gets
    > >>> divorced, they're still brother and sister.
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
    > >>> Florida have in common?
    > >>> No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a
    > >>> trailer.
    > >>>
    > >>> ******
    > >>> How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky
    > >>> hotel?
    > >>> When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink,"
    > >>> and
    > > the
    > >>> person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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  3. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    I have never heard a couple of those /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. KRAZIE87K5

    KRAZIE87K5 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Q. What do you call duct tape in Kentucky??
    A. Chrome on a roll...

    Q. What a does a girl from Mississippi say during s*x???
    A. Git off'n me PA!! Yer crushin' ma smokes!!
     
  6. shewheeler

    shewheeler 1/2 ton status

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    More Redneck humor:

    Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big
    smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

    "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

    "Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

    The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

    "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from tennessee, 30, struck by lightning."

    "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

    "Thought he was having his picture taken."

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  7. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Where was the toothbrush invented?
    &gt; &gt;&gt;&gt; Arkansas.
    &gt; &gt;&gt;&gt; If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
    &gt; &gt; teethbrush

    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    OKC, Oklahoma
    Q: What's the difference between Arkansas and Texas?

    A: Shoes! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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