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Redneck Valetines Day Poem

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BOWTIE, Feb 14, 2002.

  1. BOWTIE

    BOWTIE 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Outside with the sawzall.
    Redneck Valentines Day Poem

    Straight from L.A. (Lower Alabama)

    Collards is green,
    my dog's name is Blue
    and I'm so lucky
    to have a sweet thang like you.

    Yore hair is like cornsilk
    a-flapping in the breeze.
    Softer than Blue's
    and without all them fleas.

    You move like the bass,
    which excite me in May.
    You ain't got no scales
    but I luv you anyway.

    Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
    jist a-fry'n in the pan.
    Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
    right out of the can.

    You have some'a yore teeth,
    for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high
    when we're in a crowd.

    On special occasions,
    when you shave under yore arms,
    well, I'm in hawg heaven,
    and awed by yore charms.

    Still them fellers at work,
    they all want to know,
    what I did to deserve
    such a purdy, young doe.

    Like a good roll of duct tape
    yo're there fer yore man,
    to patch up life's troubles
    and fix what you can.

    Yo're as cute as a junebug
    a-buzzin' overhead.
    You ain't mean like those far ants
    I found in my bed.

    Cut from the best cloth
    like a plaid flannel shirt,
    you spark up my life
    more than a fresh load of dirt.

    When you hold me real tight
    like a padded gunrack,
    my life is complete;
    Ain't nuttin' I lack.

    Yore complexion, it's perfection,
    like the best vinyl sidin'.
    despite all the years,
    yore age, it keeps hidin'.

    Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
    with a RC cold drank,
    we go together
    like a skunk goes with stank.

    Some men, they buy chocolate
    for Valentine's Day;
    They git it at Wal-Mart,
    it's romantic that way.

    Some men git roses
    on that special day
    from the cooler at Kroger.
    "That's impressive," I say.

    Some men buy fine diamonds
    from a flea market booth.
    "Diamonds are forever,"
    they explain, suave and couth.

    But for this man, honey,
    these won't do.
    Cause yor'e too special,
    you sweet thang you.

    I got you a gift,
    without taste nor odor,
    more useful than diamonds...
    IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

    Luv, from yor romeo

    <a target="_blank" href=http://community.webshots.com/user/bowtie1ton>My K5.</a>
    <a target="_blank" href=http://www.texasoffroad.net/galleries/members/midnight>http://www.texasoffroad.net/galleries/members/midnight</a>
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    portland oregon
    lmao!!!!!!!!!!! good one[​IMG]

    wheeling pics
     
  3. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    LOL..



    Eric
    from Freekmont,CA.

    <a target="_blank" href=http://www.community.webshots.com/user/vwryda> Miscellaneous Debris </a>
     
  4. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    LMAO!!! [​IMG]

    Good one!!! [​IMG]



    <font color=red>Only real men drive K30's!!!</font color=red> [​IMG]

    <a target="_blank" href=http://coloradok5.com/gallery/thatK30guy>The K30 Collection</a>
     
  5. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=purple> Way to go ! Now who's gonna change me ?

    L8r,
    . Riz . <a target="_blank" href=http://www.geocities.com/rizmonkey>www.geocities.com/rizmonkey</a>

    <font color=purple> monkeys steal my underwear at night
     
  6. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    Location:
    my garage, Henderson, NV
    AWESOME!!!!! LMAO

    --Scott, 1989 GMC Suburban 2500 4" lift, 36" TSLs
    <a target="_blank" href=http://community.webshots.com/user/muddysub>http://community.webshots.com/user/muddysub</a>
     
  7. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Gettysburg,Pa
    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just sent that to all my friends


    <font color=purple>If you want life to run smoothly...You must grease it with some ATTITUDE!!!!</font color=purple>
     
  8. chvyhs

    chvyhs 1/2 ton status

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    That poem deserves it's own forum. I'm from California but my wife has family back east. I'm sending it to all of them.

    <a target="_blank" href=http://community.webshots.com/user/chvyhs>WebShot Pics</a>
    It's a wheelbase thing, you wouldn't understand.
     

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