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RJ inspired me to write...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by firefighter184, May 14, 2005.

  1. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Just the knowledge that the sun was soon to rise was enough to spur my steed a little harder. While being pursued by a band of angry space-whores from Alpha 9 might seem to be a good thing, it is surely not. Unhappy with their "compensation", they were sworn to hunt me and my penis to the ends of the planet formerly known as Earth.

    The dusty podunk outpost of Black Hills, once a bustling mid-size city before the whales destoyed the planet, had turned out to be a terrible place for a man like me to stop for a bit of R&R. Stupid whales. All I wanted was water, ammo and a night's rest. The space-whores quickly changed those plans for me. Well, them and a few quarts of rot-gut and some phetty pills. The going price for whores is $20.00 California, right? Well, I figured I could afford a couple for the evening, not knowing that these enterprising (and doggedly determined) "ladies" charged on a per vagina basis, not per lady. As we all know, the gals from Alpha 9 pack vaginas under each arm, as well as the usual place. Unfortunately, My penis outspent my wallet and my brain.

    Why would a well-armed outrider flee from a band of whores? Well, if these gals have multiple vaginas, who's to say they dont have multiple hearts? I was well armed, but slightly under-ammoed. Head shots, you might say? They had no heads! That's wha made these damned space-whores so attractive. If I could just get back to my equipment in the dead zone, I'd be safe....
     
  2. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    A genre mix? Yes, you may say so....

    HAHAHAHAHA
     
  3. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    I can neither confirm nor deny thse allegations at this time, due to inter-governmental agreements made through my lawyers and enforcers of frontier justice.
     
  4. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Looks like another new batch has hit the streets............ :whistle:
     
  5. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    100% pure, uncut Mountain Dew Live Wire, in an intravenous drip. Yum...
     
  6. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    With a Jolt Cola chaser............
     
  7. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    Not exactly my style but it was a fun read! continue on ,grasshoppa! :D
     
  8. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    ...and so began another day in my life as a post-apocalyptic wanderer. Hard to believe that in five short years I'd gone from suburban fireman with a wife, kids and picket fence to a horse riding, .45 slinging, alcoholic killer. Not that killer is a bad thing. I only killed the ones who tried to kill me first, including a few dozen PETA soldiers I caught working for the whales.

    When my wife left me for General Jolie, that was when I knew it was all going to change for me. The whales had already broken the Ross Shelf loose, and the coasts were drowning. She just finished me off. So I did what any self-respecting man would do, and killed her and the General. Five long years, and I'm still on the run. PETA has a bounty on me, and more than a few have tried to cash me out. The Chinese offered me amnesty, but I'm still stuck in the past and can't seem to think of them as anything but Commies. The America I knew is dead, but as long as I hold on to the past, she lives on. Hell, what's more American than a man on a horse and the venerable .45?

    So I ride, and ride, and ride. Hard to cash a bounty on a man who lives nowhere, right? Along the way, I've learned many lessons, and taught a few myself. Current lesson? Stay away from space-whores.
     
  9. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    Dang John,

    that is some very creative writing. I'm enjoying it, next chapter please.
     
  10. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    You're wierd :laugh:
     
  11. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

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    Oh,Yeah!,this coming from the king of eccentric! No different than you or I.
     
  12. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

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    I like your style. :)
     
  13. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Is it ok to consort with attention whores though? :D
     
  14. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Surround oneself with like-minded people for best res :D ults...
     
  15. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    Yeah there was ome good wording in that . It was cool. I posted my abulance chaser one, but i gues it sucked, that along with my movies lol , because nobody ever says anything lol. At least you got a response . I would have been happy with "you suck" or "BOOOO! " :grin: j/k cool tale man. :)
     
  16. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    You suck. BOOOOOOO!!!!




    :D :D :D :D
     
  17. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    :grin: m Thanks!!! :grin:
     

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