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Rules for Women From Men

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Greenblazer-AZ, Jul 8, 2002.

  1. Greenblazer-AZ

    Greenblazer-AZ 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Posts:
    770
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    Location:
    Chandler, AZ
    * These are our rules! Please note... these are all
    numbered "1" (ON PURPOSE!)

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
    down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
    if we can find the perfect present yet again!

    1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.

    1. Don't cut your hair. EVER! Long hair is always more attractive
    than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
    married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
    it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle
    hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think
    we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
    your dress?

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Check your oil! Please.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
    fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
    us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first four
    months we were going out. Get over it, and quit whining to your
    girlfriends.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
    have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
    hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
    fine. Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
    trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
    together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

    1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
    camping.
     
  2. NoSmog73

    NoSmog73 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2001
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    2,348
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    Location:
    lodi,ca
    Aw dam LMFAO /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif /forums/images/icons/blush.gif /forums/images/icons/blush.gif
    Now to send it to my wife...LOL
     
  3. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2001
    Posts:
    10,451
    Likes Received:
    489
    Location:
    my garage, Henderson, NV
    very nice!! /forums/images/icons/cool.gif /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
     
  4. TX Mudder

    TX Mudder 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2000
    Posts:
    2,514
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    Location:
    Houston
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
    camping.




    [/ QUOTE ]

    I thought I was the only one who thought that - wow. How funny.
    -- Mike
     
  5. mercercadet

    mercercadet 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2002
    Posts:
    216
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    0
    Location:
    Georgia
    never stated so well
     

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