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Rules for Yankee's visiting the South.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Grim-Reaper, Jul 30, 2002.

  1. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    Enjoy!!!
    Subject: Gotta love the South

    Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop
    when Yankees and Floridians cross states such as North
    Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, and Georgia, those
    states' Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In
    an effort to help outsiders understand the rural
    Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed
    to each person as they enter the State:

    1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before
    breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

    2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you
    drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I
    have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it
    or get it out of the way.

    3. The red dirt - it's called clay. Red Georgia clay.
    If you like the color, don't wash your car for a
    couple weeks - it'll be permanent. The big lumps of it
    - they're called "clods."

    4 . We all started hunting and fishing when we were
    seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

    5 . Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
    our women will get you whipped........by our women.

    6 . Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't
    cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle.
    We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish
    for.......bait.

    7 . Pull your pants up. You look like an @#%$.

    8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose
    and whatevers, and wear your hair long-----go right
    ahead - but if we call you ma'am, don't be offended.

    9 . If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards
    are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You
    might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the
    time.

    10 . That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can
    buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one
    drink.

    11 . No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
    Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the
    Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and
    turkey.

    12.Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over
    ice and is sweet. You want it hot - sit it in the sun.
    You want it unsweetened - add a lot of water.

    13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown,
    wet, and served over ice.

    14 . So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're
    real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar
    combines that we use two weeks a year.

    15. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in
    town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when
    it's yellow.

    16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive
    trucks------because they want to. So, you're a
    feminist. Isn't that cute?

    17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray
    before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church
    on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high school
    football games on Friday nights, we still address our
    seniors with 'yes, sirs' and 'yes, ma'ams', and we
    sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see
    friends and neighbors.

    18. We don't do "hurry up" well.

    19. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt
    on them. You boil them with either saltback or a ham
    hock.

    20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp, too.
    You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at
    the bait shop.

    21 . They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get
    over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two
    ways-Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

    22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and pepper
    on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them - then
    you want cream of wheat - go to Kansas. That would be
    I-40 West.

    23. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
    season. It's a religious holiday. You can get
    breakfast at the church.

    24. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's
    called being friendly. Understand the concept?

    25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water
    hazards. It spooks the fish - and if you hit it in the
    rough, we have these things called Diamondbacks, and
    they're not baseball players.

    26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you
    over for driving like an @#%$...his name is "Sir"...no
    matter how old he is.

    27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It
    drips from them. You park your Navigator under them,
    and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

    28. You burn an American flag in our state - you get
    beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our
    state legislatures (all 4 of
    them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a
    $10 fine for beating the person up.


    Now, enjoy your visit... I emphasize - "visit."
     
  2. bklynlifted

    bklynlifted 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    THANKS FOR THE INFO SHURE GLAD I'M HEADING TO AZ TOMORROW I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO LEARN ALL THAT STUFF /forums/images/icons/confused.gif MAYBE AFTER OPENING DAY ? I'LL POST SOME NEW YORK TID-BITS SOON FOR ANY REBELS MAKING A VISIT UP 95 NORTH. /forums/images/icons/cool.gif /forums/images/icons/cool.gif /forums/images/icons/cool.gif
     
  3. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    LOL @ #10,and #20 /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  4. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    hahaha. Hay I was Born in Detroit. Just lived here since 79.
     
  5. bklynlifted

    bklynlifted 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    the only part of the south i have been to is fla daytona 500 evey other year and down to the keys for a week after the race. i'll be there in feb.i try to leave my bklyn accent at the airport?? /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif web page
     
  6. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    I'LL POST SOME NEW YORK TID-BITS SOON FOR ANY REBELS MAKING A VISIT UP 95 NORTH.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Walk softly and carry an automatic weapon has always worked for me. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  7. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    the only part of the south i have been to is fla daytona 500 evey other year and down to the keys for a week after the race. i'll be there in feb.i try to leave my bklyn accent at the airport??

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Why? It will fit in with all the Jersey accents from the transplants that live there. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  8. bklynlifted

    bklynlifted 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    faaawwwkeeeennn a /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     
  9. NEOMASTINO2U

    NEOMASTINO2U 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    i am from the south (north carolina-salsbury) and everything you said is so true makes me miss home, i hate the northwest some people are idiots here!LOL! in fact my aunt is sending me some cheer wine and navy beans and hamhocks and salt pork! god i miss the food! that and everyone here looks at me wierd cause i'm a girl that works on her on truck, change oil-tuneups rebuild motors, etc. and no i am not a dike!LOL!
    kelly /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  10. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    i hate the northwest some people are idiots here!LOL!

    [/ QUOTE ] Oh you must be refering to all the cali folks who've moved up here... /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     
  11. White Knight

    White Knight 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    I remember hearing 'bout comparing yankees to hemmoroids,

    Bad: They come down hang around and get in your way

    Sorta good: They come down hang around then go back up

    Of course one has to realize that just like a 'roid, they're only a problem to a a$$hole!!!!!!!! /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

    But still I wish that ya'll would understand that everyone east of Dallas, and North of Red River are YANKEES. /forums/images/icons/shocked.gif

    Dyed in the wool TEXAN. /forums/images/icons/cool.gif

    Omni Terra
    Deo Ibi Est
     
  12. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    Exactly! Hell my first girlfriend could spit farther than I could! She also knew how to drive a combine and tractor....I think she's still tougher than I am! /forums/images/icons/blush.gif /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif
     
  13. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    But still I wish that ya'll would understand that everyone east of Dallas, and North of Red River are YANKEES

    [/ QUOTE ]

    OH NO!!!!! OH NO!!!!!! KATIE BAR THE DOOR!!!!!! I KNOW YOU JUST DINT CALL ME A STINKING YANKEE !!!!! IT'S AWN!!!! IT'S AWN!!!!!!!! /forums/images/icons/mad.gif
     
  14. White Knight

    White Knight 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    Sorry man its just the plain cold facts /forums/images/icons/frown.gif , but look on the bright side Bubba transplants are cool /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif ....besides aren't those awn things the deals that cover winders
    /forums/images/icons/cool.gif
     
  15. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Sorry man its just the plain cold facts

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Seems the "fresh" odor of Texas has gotten to ya. Do I need to 'splain my pedigree to y'all? Ancestors came out of Missippi.
    Oh no, I ain't letting y'all off easy. North of the Red River my Okie butt!!!!!
    I Sir, don't demand, but I WILL RECEIVE satisfaction for this grievice error of thought on your part. /forums/images/icons/mad.gif /forums/images/icons/mad.gif /forums/images/icons/mad.gif
     
  16. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    By the way, everyone knows that the only smart Texans go to [​IMG]. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  17. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    Love it Grimmy! Even though I am a transplant from Mass. When I was still up there people said I had a southern accent. I got down here and people asked if I was from England! /forums/images/icons/confused.gif LOL! Glad I lost my Yankee accent. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif I should have been born down here.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and pepper
    on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them - then
    you want cream of wheat - go to Kansas. That would be
    I-40 West.

    [/ QUOTE ] This is the only problem. I use butter sugar and milk. LOL! The wife rags me about that constantly! She was born and raised in Zephyrhills Fla, Yeah where the water comes from. (Ive swam in those "Protected Springs".)
     
  18. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    ...Zephyrhills Fla, Yeah where the water comes from.
    (Ive swam in those "Protected Springs"

    [/ QUOTE ]
    ... hopefully you didn't pee in it!!! LOL !!! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
     
  19. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    ... hopefully you didn't pee in it!!! LOL !!!

    [/ QUOTE ] I only went there once and no I didnt. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif But it used to be open to the public so I am sure quite a few people did. LOL!! It was actually kinda cool. It had a big hole in it which was one of the springs. And the water was like 70 something year round.
     
  20. White Knight

    White Knight 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Rules for Yankee\'s visiting the South.

    Okay satisfaction it is sir, your challenge, my weapons........lets see swords...nope, my advantage...pistols...nope again my advantage....sniper rifles....nope again my advantage I guess we will have to arm wrestle at some trail head some day!!!!!! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

    DUUUUDDDDDEEEEEE Bubba you know the only reason I put that tid-bit in was I KNEW you'd be reading Grimmie's post, and that it would I say WOULD rub on you the wrong way.....what Can I say .... /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif got cha! /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

    Besides all Texans LUV Oklahoma its the only thing that keeps us from falling into the Gulf of Mexico......you know.....Oklahoma SUCKS....lololololol
     

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