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Seven degrees of blonde

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Jun 19, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2001
    Posts:
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    Location:
    .
    ONE
    > > > A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
    morning.
    > The
    > > > wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
    and
    > > said,
    > > > "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
    > husband
    > > > said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman
    wanting
    > to
    > > > know 'if the coast is clear."
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > TWO
    > > > Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
    the
    > > > sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
    > mirror
    > > and
    > > > says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
    Here,
    > let
    > > > me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
    > > > The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
    me!"
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > THREE
    > > > A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
    out
    > and
    > > buys
    > > > a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
    the
    > door
    > > > she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
    really
    > angry.
    > > > She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she
    is
    > > > overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
    The
    > > > boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
    > > > The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > FOUR
    > > > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
    > proudly
    > > > says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
    > what's
    > > the
    > > > capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > FIVE
    > > > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
    pregnant?
    > "Is
    > > it
    > > > mine?"
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > SIX
    > > > A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
    > Miraculously,
    > > > she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch
    and was
    > > > applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!"
    the
    > > > trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was
    stomped on
    > by
    > > an
    > > > elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
    > > > "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in
    the
    > world
    > > > did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked
    car.
    > > >
    > > > "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
    > driving
    > > > along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in
    front of
    > me.
    > > > So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
    to
    > the
    > > left
    > > > and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
    > another
    > > > tree! I swerved to the left and there was..."
    > > > "Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
    tree on
    > > > this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back
    and
    > > > forth."
    > > > >*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>*>
    > > >
    > > > SEVEN
    > > > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
    > ransacked
    > > > and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
    the
    > crime.
    > > > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
    K-9
    > unit
    > > > patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
    > > > As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
    the
    > > > blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
    and his
    > > dog,
    > > > then sat down on the steps.
    > > > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find
    all my
    > > > possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they
    do?
    > They
    > > > send me a BLIND policeman!"
     

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