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Showering Habits

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 20, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Location:
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    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

    Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket
    according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen
    along the way, cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

    Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
    Complain and whine about getting fat. Get in shower.

    Look for facecloth, armcloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide
    loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
    vitamins.

    Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added
    vitamins.

    Condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner with
    enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
    red raw.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
    wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make
    sure that it's rinsed completely out.

    Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses
    pressure and turns red hot.

    Turn off shower.

    Clean all wet shower surfaces. Spray mould spots with flash
    bathroom spray.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African
    country.

    Wrap hair in super-absorbant second towel.

    Check entire body for remotest sign of spots or extraneous hair.
    Attack with nails or tweezers if found.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    If husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom
    to spend half an hour getting dressed.

    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

    Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in pile on
    floor. Walk naked to bathroom. If wife sees, shake manhood at her
    making "Woo" sound.

    Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you
    have pecs (no).

    Admire size of manhood in mirror, scratch privates and smell
    fingers for one last whiff.

    Get in shower.

    Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one. Wash face

    Wash armpits

    Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower.

    Wash privates and the surrounding area.

    Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.

    Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.

    Make shampoo Mohawk. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.

    Pee (in shower).

    Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor
    because shower curtain was outside bath for whole shower time.

    Partially dry off.

    Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of
    manhood (again).

    Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.

    Leave bathroom light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull
    off towel, grab manhood, say, "Yeah baby," and thrust pelvis at
    her.

    Quickly check used underpants for staining, put them on. Unravel
    socks, make sure they're not too crusty and pull them on. Change
    shirt but otherwise dress in most of yesterday's clothes...
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!
     
  3. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
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    Wooo!!
     
  4. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

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    <font color=blue> Awesome !
     

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