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Similes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BlazerGuy, Jun 15, 2004.

  1. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    I'm compiling a list of funny ones. This is what I have so far:

    Cold
    Colder than a polar bear's ass in the Klondike
    Colder than a brass toilet on the shady side of an igloo


    Slippery
    Slipperier than a well-digger's ass


    Hot
    Hotter than hell
    Hotter than six feet up a bull's ass
    Sweatin' like a whore in church
    Sweatin like a hog

    Nervous
    More nervous than a virgin in a wiener factory

    Dirty
    Dirtier than a coal-miner's ass

    Stinky
    Smells like a three day old fart

    Ugly
    He/She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
    Looks like the south end of a north bound buffalo
    Looks like the ass end of a bulldog

    Hunger
    I'm so hungry I could eat the crotch out of a menstruating skunk
    I could eat the dingleberries off a wildebeest

    Deep
    Ass-hole deep on a nine foot Indian

    I know a bunch more but I got a case of the writers block....

    /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif


    What do y'all have? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  2. trollporter

    trollporter 1/2 ton status

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    Great post. How about tighter than d!cks hat band or slicker than owl sh!t.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    lower than a snake belly in a wagon rut...
     
  4. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Oh yeah I forgot about tightness

    Tight
    Tighter than the stripes on a 9 ball
    That guy is tight, you couldn't drive a straight pin up his ass with a sledgehammer...
     
  5. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Slipperier then snot on a door knob......
    Ugly, You hear of the ugly stick, looks like the whole damn tree fell on that b_tch.
     
  6. DBLAZER

    DBLAZER 1/2 ton status

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    Tight

    He's so tight you could shove a lump of coal up his ass, and in two weeks you would have a Diamond!!
     
  7. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    colder than a witch's tit
     
  8. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Slick
    Slicker than snot on a hot tin roof.
     
  9. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    E-town baby!
    Dumber than a sack of hammers

    Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin contest

    Rene
     
  10. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    blacker than the inside of a cow

    not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    dumber than a box of rocks
     
  11. dremu

    dremu Officious Thread Derailer Premium Member

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    Hotter than two rats fücking in a wool sock.
     
  12. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Sharp as a bag of wet mice /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
     
  13. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Tight:
    Tight as a frog's ass.

    Good looking:
    Finer than frog's hair.

    Anal:
    Picking fly sh*t outta pepper.

    Hungover:
    Feeling like hammered sh*t.
     
  14. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Busy
    Busier than a three-legged cat trying to bury crap on a frozen pond

    Gettin' On It a la Steve Watson
    Get on it like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat
    Get on it like a hobo on a sandwich
    Get on it like Opra on a baked ham
    Get on it like stink on a monkey
     
  15. mrk5

    mrk5 The Sticker Guy Moderator Vendor GMOTM Winner Author

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    When I first saw this post I thought someone didn't know how to spell "Smiles". /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif Now I'm all over it like stink on sh*t!

    Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.
     
  16. roadhawg

    roadhawg 1/2 ton status

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    Drive it like you stole it.
    as slow as molasses in January
    as nervous as a hemophiliac in a razor factory.
     
  17. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    This one is SO wrong for many reasons but I've used it on occasion:

    Tighter than a nun's c_nt... /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif
     
  18. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Oh I think I can beat that

    "Harder than a preachers dick in a choir boy's ass"

    Tah Dahhhhh!
     
  19. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Oh I think I can beat that

    "Harder than a priest's dick in a choir boy's ass"

    Tah Dahhhhh!

    [/ QUOTE ]


    Fixed it! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  20. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Thanks, I was hung up on the spelling of "choir"
     

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