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So I get this call about .... toilet paper and deodorant....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 4GUNZ4X4Z, Aug 4, 2003.

  1. 4GUNZ4X4Z

    4GUNZ4X4Z 1/2 ton status

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    So I get this call about ... toilet paper and deodorant... Awhile back I get this call, pickup the phone, and on the other end is this guys voice "Hi Im blah blah and am conducting a survey for the blah blah institute... would you mind if I take a moment of your time?" So I'm like "Whats this got to do wit me?"... other end "Oh we are doing a survey on household relations"... I says "Yeah okay...fire away". Well before I start writing a screenplay outta this the guy starts asking multiple questions. It begins with "What brand deaodorant do you use" a,b,c,d. "Why do you like your choice" a,b,c,d. "Is the texture..."a,b,c,d. "Would you recommend this brand to another person" a,b. "For what reason?" a,b,c,d. So I'm answering...well you know... honestly. I'm thinking to myself... If only my 3rd grade teacher could see me now... cause I know I'm ace'n this test. Well the guy says "Now I have another product I'd like to ask you about.?" and I says "Ask away chief." He starts out with "How do you perfer to hang your toilet paper? A. Over or B. Under." Thinking alright its on now ... I says "Well when I'm in a good mood I like it under, you know just a quick little tug and away it rips... now if I'm pissed and I go in the library (my nickname for the bathroom) to drop the kids off at the pool (my nickname for leaving a $hit) I want that damn roll of butt tags over, because if that sucker is under and I snatch at that roll all hell is gonna break loose. (Now I know I lost this guy at Library cause he's stuttering on the other end of the phone and I'm not stopping with my response) Paper is gonna go flying and I'm gonna want to try and catch it and then who knows whats gonna happen. I mean I might lean over and knock my a$$ out on the wall and then hows that gonna look? You know me in the library with my face on the floor, pants to my ankles, with my ass in the air. I mean come on blah blah(his name) how would you feel?" Hesitant and stuttering he says "Okay so you don't have a prefrence." and I says "Well hell yeah I do I just told you blah blah." and he says "Ok next question... How do you prefer your toilet paper? Soft, Rough, Waxy, or Thick?" me "Well hell blah blah between you and me and nobody else I like it soft, but for your little survey thingy there you got going on I'm a man what do you think? I mean when I'm out in the woods and gotta pinch a loaf then need to wipe my a$$ I grab a fist full of leaves, wipe, and smile about it, cause I'm a man and thats what men do... right? So my answer is rough, rough as hell. So do you got any more questions for me or what cause I gotta go drop the kids of at the pool and your holding me up." He says "No sir and on behalf of blahblah institute I'd like to thank you for your time."

    Whats this world coming to when you get a call at supper time from some moron asking you about your toilet paper preference? Damn morons....
     
  2. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    You know me in the library with my face on the floor, pants to my ankles, with my ass in the air.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Damn, that is frickin' funny!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    John
     
  3. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    That is some funny shite Michael!!!!/forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif/forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    Rene
     
  4. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Drop the kids off at the pool. Like it. Which begs the survey, names for taking a dump? Anyone? Anyone? Should it be a new thread?
     
  5. Ryan B.

    Ryan B. 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    that is funny as hell /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif i am so tired of all these callers i keep messing with them every-time they call /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. ChevyHuny

    ChevyHuny 1/2 ton status

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  8. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     

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