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some canadian stuff...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Capman2k, Oct 3, 2003.

  1. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

    Jun 22, 2001
    Likes Received:
    These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website

    1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

    2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . ..

    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
    list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?

    7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
    Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure,
    the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
    is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
    night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.
    Come naked.

    11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
    Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
    A: You are an American politician, right?

    14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the
    female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    16. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
    year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

    17. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
    A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be
    safely handled and make good pets.

    18. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the
    brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
    spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    19. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl
    I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

    20. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Nov 6, 2000
    Likes Received:
    portland oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  3. pfloydmaster

    pfloydmaster 1/2 ton status

    Mar 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Grottoes, Virginia
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
  4. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

    May 19, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Vancouver, WA, USA
    lol! dang canadians, they never are very useful are they? /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

  5. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

    Apr 26, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Mayberry (Auburn, WA)
    Hippo racing !!?!?!???!

    LET'S GO !

    /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
  6. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

    Nov 1, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    [ QUOTE ]
    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    i thought this was especially pertinent to the off topic forum /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif..
  7. FatBoyBlazer

    FatBoyBlazer 1/2 ton status

    Feb 22, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Worcester, MA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

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