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Some help proofreading?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by newyorkin, Dec 11, 2002.

  1. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Los Estados Unitos
    Can y'all give me a hand here? I need to mail in a response to my 15th parking summons... This is the toned-down letter I want to send:




    Summons number: 205666
    Plea: Not Guilty
    Tentatively ascertained violation: Parking on the grass


    Snow was covering the grass, therefore it was not discernable to be grass until much later in the day, after rain had washed and melted most of the snow away. Also hiding the grass were the many vehicle tracks in the snow left by my fellow and previous parking commuters.
    Regardless of the above, there are no signs in the vicinity my vehicle was parked to indicate parking is not allowed on that grass.

    Also, please pass my regards to the officer with the sharp judgement of placing the enclosed parking summons under the windshield wiper of my soaking vehicle, which immediately activated when I started the vehicle, pulverizing the summons. Hopefully, my determination by the faint handwriting of “(on grass)” on the summons is correct, as I cannot tell definitely. It was beginning to rain when I parked the vehicle at 9:26am, and it was raining at some point in the “PM” that the officer indicates on the summons (again, due to the immediate action of my windshield wipers on vehicle startup, the exact write-in on the summons is difficult to determine). Perhaps consideration should be made to use a small portion of the fines from legitimate tickets to provide officers with waterproof bags or enclosures for tickets needing to be placed on vehicles during monsoons.


    I’d also like to take this opportunity to request contact information for the person responsible for Annual Commuter Sticker value. With the service of parking being denied me almost daily, I would like to request some of the overly spacious wooded or grassy areas of the train station be PAVED to fulfill the NEEDS of the train station PARKING LOT, or rather than using a 15-man crew (mid November ‘02) to perform horrible and unnecessary cement repairs (almost to the point of sidewalk defacing) to sidewalks that are rarely used, perhaps some of the 3 foot potholes may be patched, or stalls markings actually be painted in such a way to indicate stalls exist. The original paint markings from earlier this century are beginning to fade.
    Simple, logical, maintenance should not be requested, but pre-emptively performed! Or, please reduce or refund the cost of an Annual Commuter Parking sticker.

    Thank you. And have a Happy Holiday!


    Sincerely,

    Rob Ratch
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Guilty.....With an Attitude /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    I would take out all after the bit about the area not being marked.
     
  4. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

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    maybe a salutation, like Dear Sir or Madam, or To Whom it May Concern...
     
  5. jjlaughner

    jjlaughner 3/4 ton status

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    its was so good and cripst till the last paragraph, I would drop that or revise the </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    , I would like to request some of the overly spacious wooded or grassy areas of the train station be PAVED to fulfill the NEEDS of the train station PARKING LOT, or rather than using a 15-man crew (mid November &amp;#8216;02) to perform horrible and unnecessary cement repairs (almost to the point of sidewalk defacing) to sidewalks that are rarely used, perhaps some of the 3 foot potholes may be patched, or stalls markings actually be painted in such a way to indicate stalls exist. The original paint markings from earlier this century are beginning to fade.
    Simple, logical, maintenance should not be requested, but pre-emptively performed!

    [/ QUOTE ] and send it!
     
  6. reddog64

    reddog64 1/2 ton status

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    I'd leave it as it is...

    It's a cheap way to get your point acrost and pay the 87 bucks ...lol /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
     

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