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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Apr 14, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I

    What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan.

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag.

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts.

    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!)


    What do you call a smart blonde?

    A golden retriever.


    What do attorneys use for birth control?

    Their personalities.


    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

    45 lbs.


    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

    45 minutes.


    What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

    Through his chest with a sharp knife.


    Why do men want to marry virgins?

    They can't stand criticism.


    Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
    good-looking?

    Because those men already have boyfriends.


    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.


    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
    driving.


    Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

    Because they have cotton balls.


    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

    "Are you sure it's mine?"


    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

    Mace will do that to you.


    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

    Everyone has the same DNA.


    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Breasts don't have eyes.


    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

    He walks around saying "Yo."


    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



    SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff)



    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

    A different bar.


    Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

    They named him "Sum Ting Wong"


    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
    other?

    A speech impediment.


    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
    half-mast?

    They're hiring.


    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
    along with... "a recipe".


    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
    fairytale?

    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
    begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [censored]..."


    Why is there no Disneyland in China?

    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
     
  2. muddysub

    muddysub 1 ton suburban status Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Breasts don't have eyes.
    Why is there no Disneyland in China?

    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

    [/ QUOTE ] rotflmao!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. MEPR

    MEPR 1/2 ton status

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    thats so funny but so horrible /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. BLAZEN70

    BLAZEN70 Registered Member

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. EDdaTREE

    EDdaTREE 1/2 ton status

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    Hey Blazen..Love the sig line. "Thanks, LaBatouche, you're a real human being."
     
  6. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. FRIZZLEFRY

    FRIZZLEFRY 1/2 ton status

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    Im not offended,please try again /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  8. supersize75

    supersize75 1/2 ton status

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    great stuff /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. 88jimmyoungowner

    88jimmyoungowner 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
    fairytale?

    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
    begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [censored]..."


    [/ QUOTE ]
     
  10. 88jimmyoungowner

    88jimmyoungowner 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
    fairytale?

    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
    begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this [censored]..."


    [/ QUOTE ]

    thats true, so why would us southerners be offended? /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  11. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    Richmond, VA
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Funny but not offended /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    John
     
  12. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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